Awkward

I have hired a full time domestic helper.

Before we go any further, let me acknowledge that YES I’m lucky, YES I know many people would love this and YES I’m whining about something I chose to do…but….

Again, I chose to hire B.  I acknowledge this.  I chose to hire her because I have no support network here.  I have no friends, no family, no one to turn to if I get sick and need help with Elanor.  I hired her because in the tropic climate you need to do a LOT more housework than I ever did back home, including sweeping and mopping the floors every day, wiping out cupboards once a week, and laundry machines that take half the load and twice the time as my machines back home did.  I hired her because I will need help at times to get around without a car in a city that is moderately but not perfectly stroller friendly (example, today we ended up trapped at the bottom of a staircase that we had no choice but to climb) coupled with my bad back (I have no real idea how I would’ve gotten myself out of that situation without her).  B also only costs the equivalent of hiring my old cleaning service to come in every day for 6 days as opposed to full time help 6 days a week for a month.

Yes, I feel defensive because in your place, I’d be attacking me for being a whiny baby.

BUT…

OH the awkwardness at times.

We have a culture gap…I’m American through and through (sure, an American who has traveled and who has married into another culture, but still–all of my cultural references, my food preferences, my slang and my speech patterns are inherently American) and she is Phillippin0.  She has worked as domestic help before-in Bahrain to a local Muslim family and here in Singapore with a Singaporean Chinese family.

We have an expectations gap…here the helpers do everything.  They cook, they clean, they take care of the kids.  When you’re out with them and the kids, they push the stroller.  When the kid cries, even if you’re standing there, the helper deals with it.  This is what B has been trained by her previous employers to do.  I…am Elanor’s mom.  That means I push her stroller, I settle her, I step in and discipline her, etc.  I also love to cook, and prefer to cook dinner for my family myself.  So we often find both of ourselves uncomfortable in a moment.

I push the stroller, she keeps putting a hand on it (which is just one of those stupid things that just pushes an IRRITATION button for me).  She cleans the dishes, I feel guilty for not doing it myself before she arrived this morning.

We’re slowly learning to adjust expectations and to work together…it’s only been a week after all.

Part of me resents that I felt it was necessary to hire her.  I like my little family and I LOVE my privacy.  But in the end, having another person around who cares about Elanor and who can pick up my slack…and even provide me with more time to spend with Ella directly instead of while I’m doing something else…is only a good thing.

But it’s just SO awkward.

Taking a local tradition a bit too far?

All of the guidebooks and expat guides to moving to Singapore mention a particular local custom.

You “chop” (reserve)  a seat at a food court or a restaurant (like the one at IKEA) by putting down a package of tissues/ umbrella/ bag/ etc.

But last night I saw the most unusual “chop” I’ve seen yet–a cell phone.  My first instinct was that the person had forgotten it, but no…a few minutes later the owner appeared with his tray, sat down, and proceeded to eat and text away.

I realize the crime rate is almost nonexistent here, but maybe that’s taking the tradition a bit too far?  As the mall signs all say “Low crime doesn’t mean NO crime…don’t stick your head in the sand-BE AWARE”.

For what it’s worth, if we had a better connection speed I would’ve taken pictures of both the cellphone and the poster.

An efficient first week

As of yesterday afternoon I got confirmation that the agent was taking our “Letter of Intent” to the landlord (who turned out to be a landlady…oops) to be signed.  It’s done.

We will be living at a condo complex called The Aston, which isn’t a long walk to Orchard Road (which is where the two conveinent MRT stops are, as well as Elanor’s gymnastics school).  There’s also a mall called Great World City within a five minute walk, where there is a Cold Storage grocery story–I’ve been there and it’s not a bad store, although it won’t be where we’ll go for everything.

We also have hired our helper, who I’ll call B for her privacy.  I had interviewed her on the phone before we arrived, and we’d really clicked.  I got to meet her in person on Wednesday and the connection was even better in person.  I also loved how she interacted with Elanor.  We’ve hired her, but she’ll be boarding with the owner of the agency until we move into the real apartment-there’s nowhere for her to have privacy here at our service apartment.

I also managed to meet up with and have a playdate with one of the American moms I’d met on our last trip here.  I’d like her back in the US as well, but I was pathetically grateful to get an email invite over to her house on Friday for a playdate as E and I were just sitting around and I was starting to feel a little sorry for myself.  It was awesome to go over to someone’s house and see the same kiddie snacks of cheerios and cheetos.  E shared a dinner of hot dogs and mac and cheese with P’s son, who is about 6 months older than her.  For my part, it was great to get advice on where to get the cheapest Cheerios, and who she uses for a pediatrician.

I’m definitely not great at reaching out to strangers-I worry that I’m being a pest or that I might be clingy (especially a danger here where I know less than 5 people)…BUT the only reason we had a great first week is because I did last time.  Our realtor and the maid agency I used were recommended to me by a mom I met last time; a mom, I might add, I never would have met if I hadn’t reached out to P through the American Women’s Association.

Without those recommendations I’d be lost in a sea of realtors, maid agencies and red tape.  I certainly wouldn’t be in a position to focus on things like making lists for what we’ll need for the new apartment, working on getting my own bank atm card (only Ravi’s name is on the account right now), and lining up a pediatrician visit for Elanor in the next few weeks.

In some ways it’s all really mundane…but then again I came home from my playdate to find a gecko crawling on the wall in the apartment.   I named him Geico and welcome his bug eating ways.  Or a trip to IKEA’s restaurant requiring us to share a table because DAMN it’s popular.  Or that chicken nuggets everywhere here are exactly like McDonald’s nuggests.  Or that it’s easier to find chili sauce than ketchup.  Or that it’s 6pm on Sunday and we can head out to shop for 3-4 more hours because Sunday is no different from any other day.

Apartment Hunting in the Lion City…

I spent the last two days looking at apartments…11 apartments to be exact.  All were between 4 and 6 thousand SD a month (approx 2,900 US to 4400 US), which is low unless you’re willing to do some combination of REALLY small, REALLY far from public transport, and REALLY un-renovated.  All but one were 3 bedroom apartments.

Things I’ve learned that make Singaporean apartments different from US apartments

1. Everything is in a condo complex unless you’re willing to pay upwards of 15k SD (11k USD) a month.

Singapore is a city state about half the size of Los Angeles (or so all the guidebooks tell me) so it makes sense that apartment living is just a better use of space than individual houses.

2. Apartments are rented from Individuals, not Apartment Management Firms and apartments in the same complex do not necessarily resemble any other apartment in the same complex.

For context, we have lived in condo buildings for the last 5 years.  But every time we rented an apartment, we picked a community and then looked at a few different apartments.  There would be differences in size and room layout, but one apartment in Cronin’s Landing (our most recent complex) was pretty much the same as any other-same cabinets, ovens, light fixtures, etc.

This isn’t true in Singapore.  Because apartments are individually owned, two apartments in the same building will look totally different.  Owners can do the floors, paint the walls, put in whatever fixtures they want, etc.  Owners also choose to renovate or not on their own schedule.  As a result, for example, I saw two apartments in the same complex, and they could have been on two different planets.

The “property management” is only responsible for maintaining the grounds, the pool, etc.  They handle spraying for pests.  They oversee the big common stuff, like elevators, etc.

In several cases, this also meant gorgeous grounds and a run-down apartment (but I didn’t see any of the inverse).

3. Certain things we take for granted aren’t necessarily part of Singaporean apartments normally.

Asians in general, and Singaporeans in particular don’t cook with ovens.  It makes sense-it’s an equatorial climate, and while the apartment is air conditioned, the kitchens aren’t.  The majority of food is cooked on the stove (stir fry, etc), and stoves are built into the counter tops of all apartments. But we Westerners love our ovens.  We tend to want ovens in our apartments.  As a result, unless the owner is specifically trying to rent to Western Expats, there usually isn’t an oven.  Of the 11 apartments I saw, only 3 or 4 had ovens.

Dryers were pretty common, but a few of the less renovated/more Singaporean apartments only had washing machines.  Locals hang their clothes on a pole that they poke out from the window near the kitchen.  I’m not nearly acclimated enough to do that (yet).  While I’m open to the idea of the pole, I wanted the security of a dryer.

It also isn’t common for there to be hot water in the kitchen.  Singaporeans wash their dishes in cold water.  This is going to be a hard one for me as I’ve been brainwashed by American Culture that only BOILING HOT WATER will clean dishes properly.  It’s rare enough that I’m not remembering any of the apartments having it.

Our non-negotiable points ended up being that we needed to be able to get to a subway (MRT) station within a 15 minute walk that was easily done by a stroller, no more than a 30ish minute commute for Ravi, a pool (at least one is standard for the most part), some kind of playground for E, relatively new appliances (including washer and dryer), a bath tub somewhere in the apartment, and a maid’s room (also standard, for the most part) for our helper to live in.

Of the eleven places I saw, between three and five of them were nixed because of MRT/commute issues.  We’re not going to have a car so this was one of the points we couldn’t be flexible on.  Our agent, at times, had a far more optimistic notion of what constituted walkability and stroller walkability than I did.

The rest were nixed generally due to the level of renovation, the lack of a bathtub anywhere in the apartment (E is terrified of showers), or rooms that were too small to fit our stuff (for example getting our Queen into a bedroom and having a dresser or table of some kind for the bedroom tv to sit on.

In the end, I picked my top three apartments and Ravi went to see them last night.

Apartment #1-The Compromise

Apartment #1 was the lowest rent and the closest to an MRT stop.  It had the middle amount of square feet (1600)  The biggest issues with it were that the rooms were on the small side (not unreasonably so, but they’d be cramped), and the owner (who had just moved out) wanted to keep a ton of furniture in the apartment that we didn’t want (including 3 beds, a giant dresser type thing that if it stayed in the master bedroom would mean we’d have less than a foot between our bed and the dresser (making the drawers unusable).  Her agent seemed to think that he could convince her to get rid of it, but they were custom done and had decorative elements that matched elements (tile mosaics) in the rest of the apartment.  I met the owner and in talking to her, I was pretty sure her agent was smoking something that’s way illegal here.

BUT–it was the cheapest apartment by $600 a month (SD), it had a HUGE walk-in closet in the Master Suite, and the MRT was almost precisely across the street.  It would be easy to get into the city.  While the mosaics throughout the apartment (roosters, ducks, and other birds) were completely NOT to my taste, it was a nice apartment overall.  It was about a 30 min commute for Ravi to work which made him happy.

In short, it was the compromise.  We’d be okay there, but not in love with the place…when the lease was up in 2 years and we are in a different place financially, we’d be moving on, no question.

Apartment #2-The Reach

Apartment #2 was the highest rent (just $200 short of our absolute max, no we can’t live if we pay more rent).  It was also the biggest apartment at 1800 square feet.  There were two balconies (one off the living room and one off the master suite).  It was a 5 minute walk to an MRT stop on the same line as Ravi’s work, making it (according to google maps) a 20 minute commute.  #2 was also the only one one of the three apartments to have an oven built into the kitchen.  It had just been renovated, and the owner obviously cared about it.

The drawbacks were that the “playground” were one crappy looking slide and two swings (one of which was in disrepair), and the walk to the MRT was doable, but challenging with a stroller.

It was gorgeous, and we would probably be happy there while in Sing, but at a price that was equivalent to what Ravi’s bosses (who make more than he does) pay for their apartments.

#3-The WIN

I will admit that #3 was my choice from the start.  It had 3 bedrooms, the maid’s room, PLUS a small storage room.  It is a 1km walk from Orchard Road (which is the heart of the shopping district and where the Borders and Elanor’s Gymnastics school are along with the MRT), and there are 7 buses right outside the door of the complex; 2 of which take Ravi straight to work if he doesn’t want to walk to the MRT in 20 min or so (maybe 30 with morning traffic).

It was priced down because there is a building going up next door, which was no barrier to us.  Firstly, the moment you were in the apartment, you didn’t hear anything (I went in the day and then we saw it again at night) and secondly, it only affects the view from one room (ours) and we’re not view people anyways.  Normally it would be the same cost as our reach apartment, so it was a bargain at a thousand a month less than the reach apartment and 600 more than the compromise (and we all know how I love a bargain).

It has a small (for Singapore) pool that’s more than big enough for what we’ll use it for, and a small play structure that E was mad we wouldn’t let her play on last night (it had JUST downpoured and everything was soaking wet).

This apartment, like #2 is also in a much more urban location.  There are stores/restaurants across the street and a big mall with a grocery store about a 7 minute walk away (the grocery store on Orchard would be a 20 min walk and would require a cab home).

The drawbacks are that it doesn’t have an oven (so I’ll have to buy my own…we’ll save that for another post), and at 1500 square feet, it was also the smallest apartment (but still bigger than our last apartment in the US so don’t cry for us, Argentina).  Our things will fit, but our bedroom will be a little cramped thanks to our giant American bed.

In short, it was the apartment that felt like the best compromise of amenities, price and space.

Where we are now

Last night we made our choice for #3 and texted our realtor.  She texted the agent (who texted the owner) and got a verbal agreement on the rent.  She wrote our letter of intent and emailed it to us some time last night.  Today Ravi has to sign it and give it, plus a one month rent deposit to our realtor.  She and the owner’s agent will hammer out the terms of the lease, and then when we sign that, we’ll pay a 2 month’s rent security deposit.

Until the lease is signed, we only have a 90% guarantee that everything will go through.  Someone else who saw the place could start a bidding war (we’d go up 200 but after that would take our reach apartment instead or start looking again) or just totally price us out in which case we’ll get our deposit back.  This happens, but not frequently.

But until I hear otherwise, we haz apartment and today I am resting by the pool with Elanor.

Our first few days…

One quick announcement–I probably won’t be posting pics or video here for the next month.  I tried to post a pic and it took more than 5 minutes to upload on this connection.  I’ll keep trying, but unless I get better speeds, I’ll have to wait and then hit you with a blast of picture posts once we move….

ETA–As it turns out, the connection *is* slow, but I was able to upload a youtube video in a reasonable amount of time.  I think the photo upload issue was a wordpress thing.  I’ll try again later or tomorrow.

Last Friday night we had a going away party.  So many friends and family came to share our last night in the US with us.  A bittersweet night, I vacillated between being so happy to see our friends (some of whom I haven’t seen in person in years) and tearing up at the idea of not seeing “Sex and the City 2″ with Kate and Aimée or not seeing Julie in a show…or just not being able to see our friends whenever we wanted.

We ordered a cake from the same people who did our wedding cake (and who inspired me to create my own twist on our wedding cake flavor–Strawberry Grand Marnier Cupcakes), which I picked up.  I almost walked out of the bakery with a cake that said “Bon Voyage Crystal, Raul and Elanor” because I was so focused on making sure that Elanor’s name was spelled correctly that I almost didn’t see that Ravi’s wasn’t.

Ravi’s dad gave a funny speech where he talked about how glad he was to finally get rid of us (specifically Ravi) and our laundry, but that we would be missed.  My friend Stephanie (who came up from New York just for us) read a poem she’d composed in honor of Elanor which I’ll post here another day.  We received many sweet and beautiful gifts to remember Boston by and several lovely tacky ones (which we ‘d actually requested…there is a plan afoot for them).

We crashed for a few hours before getting up at 4/4:30ish in order for our 5am (cringe) pick up.  We took two vans (this will be a theme) to the airport where Ravi’s parents met us to help us get all the luggage checked and to say good-bye (for now) at security.

This was especially good as we needed about a half hour at the ticket counter.  Not because of our ridiculous luggage (and it was ridiculous) but because of the one-way ticket thing.  Apparently an airline can be fined 25k US per person in the event of a person entering a foreign country with no exit plan and no permit to do so.  They didn’t care about Ravi, who had his Employment Pass to show them.  Rather, they weren’t so happy about Elanor and I and for a while I wasn’t sure I was going to be able to leave the country, or that they would let me without forcing me to buy a return ticket with a departure date in the next 28 days (the current length of stay in Singapore for a tourist not holding an Employment or Dependent Pass).

For the record, I had what’s called and “in principle approval letter” as did Elanor for our Dependent Passes.  We couldn’t get our actual DP’s until we arrived in Singapore, someone at GNB signed off on them, we get finger printed, and get more passport style photos taken so they can make the official DP cards (which look like driver’s licenses).  If you actually just read that sentence, you can deduce that getting our REAL DP’s require us to enter the country of Singapore to complete the process.  The in principle letter states clearly that we’ve been approved “in principle” for our DP’s and just need to do the in person stuff…in Singapore.  I’m not really sure what was so complicated…but it took a ticket agent, a supervisor and whoever she took our “in principle” letters to show to decide that we could leave the country.  But first I got to have a discussion where they stated like 7 times that they weren’t responsible for what happened to me if Singapore deported me because I arrived on a one-way ticket and I responded that I had the “in principle” letters which meant I wasn’t going to get deported which just started the whole conversation all over again.  Finally I got to agree that fine, I wouldn’t hold them responsible (which I also kept saying in the conversational black hole that never ended) and got to get the boarding passes.  *HEADDESK*

I feel kind of guilty saying this, with European air travel shot to hell due to the volcanic eruption in Iceland, but our trip to Singapore was actually one of the most uneventful trips I’ve been on.  All the flights were on time (in fact, 2 of the 3 arrived early with the 3rd arriving on time) and while we didn’t get any of our hoped for upgrades, the seats were in Economy Plus (and believe me, that few extra inches of leg room made all the difference, especially with E’s car seat) and we packed such that we never had to access our carry ons while in flight.

This was the first time E flew with her own seat (that was planned for, anyways) and having her in the car seat made all the difference.  She slept for long chunks on all three legs of the flights and was generally easily entertained when not sleeping.  I found a travel tray that attaches to the car seat’s straps which I had hoped would be a hit.  E liked kicking it, she liked eating some of my potato chips off of it, and used it to hold her pad of paper to color on, but she also discovered how to detach it and kept throwing it at us…so I’m not sure it will make future appearances on airplanes with us. There was Elmo, but there was also coloring, some playing with dolls, various toys, many songs, and other such things that have already faded into memory 36 hours later.

I have to stop and do a product endorsement for my new favorite travel accessory–the “traveling toddler;” quite possibly the best $15 (US) I’ve spent in a long time.  It was super easy to attach the car seat to a carry-on and then stroll her through the various airports without yet another thing to push/carry/cart around.  It WAS a pain in the ass to detach the car seat for security check points, but security check points are always a pain in the ass, so I’m not going to subtract points for that.  I’ll also note that it wasn’t always easy to pull her down the aisles of the airplanes to our seats (on one 777 it was fine but on the next it got stuck…same plane, some company…who knows why?) and we basically had to be the last ones off the plane so that we could hook her up to the carry-on before de-planing (not enough hands to get off if one of us just carried the car seat) but those were trade-offs that were more than reasonable.  It’s also $70 US cheaper than the Go-Go Kidz Travelmate which is what I kept finding reviews for online and my favorite baby stuff store sells (and which creates another thing you have to push) and takes up no room in my purse (it’s a t-strap)…GENIUS.  Considering my next trip back to the US will be solo with E, it was a HUGE find for me.

Arriving in Singapore, things went far smoother than they had at the United counter.  I showed them the “in principle” letter, they wished us the best, stamped my passport, gave me the white card I had to give to whoever along with “in principle” letter to get my (and Elanor’s) DP’s and sent me on my way.  Thankfully, no one felt compelled to go through our bags (not that we had anything we weren’t supposed to, rather just that even though it had been uneventful, it had also been like 36 hours at that point since I’d lain down on a bed) and we and our two porters met our two drivers and the two vans were loaded.

We got to the Hilton at about 1am Singapore Time Monday morning (about 1pm Boston Time Sunday afternoon).  We were all starving at this point…and happily made our way to the 24 hour full service McDonald’s (they’re everywhere here) to get some dinner (breakfast? lunch? who knew?) rather than call or order online for McDelivery (no, seriously…that’s what they call it; picture some dude on a vespa style scooter in a red jacket with a red helmet emblazoned with the yellow “M” and a giant red bag on their back putting along a busy road).  I think we got to bed around 2:30/3am Singapore time, although I ended up staying awake until 4.  Ella woke us at quarter to 6, and we went downstairs for breakfast.  After Ravi left for work at like 8:30 (he was a little late) I put on Elmo and dozed until 10:30.  We grabbed lunch (yes, McDonalds again…whatever, it was right there) and then moved to our serviced apartment at 1:30.

The first serviced apartment didn’t work out for reasons I don’t want to go into, but let’s say that when I opened my laptop this morning, little bugs were crawling in and out of my keyboard and over my screen.  At which point I freaked out fully and upgraded my status from “requesting a change soon” (the previous day’s email) to “GET ME OUT TODAY, PLEASE.”  I checked out a few places this morning, and when my first choice just couldn’t get us in, we moved to a different location.  Poor Ravi has come home to 3 different places in 3 nights.  But here we’ll stay for a month while I locate a permanent home here in Singapore.

Last night we ate at Marché (for our Boston friends-yes, the same place that used to be in the Prudential Center) where I found the best restaurant high chair EVER.  I really wanted to upload the picture, but instead you’ll have to imagine a standard high chair with two shelves jutting out of the back on wheels.  Marché is set up like a market so you wander from station to station ordering food and they swipe a card-at the end of the meal the cards are swiped to calculate the bill.  With the miracle high chair we didn’t need to take turns, and both Ravi and I could go and order food and actually (GASP) eat a meal together with Elanor.

Today, as I said, I checked out other properties and handled the two van move.  I spent the morning/early afternoon unpacking what we do need and repacking what we probably don’t in the next month.  Nothing too exciting.

Elanor is currently napping.  When she wakes up, I’m heading out to the grocery store to buy some essentials and then we’ll possibly hit the pool as Ravi will be getting home late tonight.

In the meantime…here’s a quick video I shot to show you around our new place

Here safe

We are here safe and sound.

However, my internet access is spotty right now, so I’ll do a lengthier update later.

The trip in bullet form

  • Flights were on time
  • No we didn’t get any upgrades, and will get our $ and miles refunded
  • All baggage (including the stroller) arrived
  • Immigration and Customs were smooth and quick
  • Ella handled the flights beautifully…flying in her own seat (in her car seat) helped tremendously.

30 hours and counting….more or less

As I type this it’s 11:30 on Thursday.  Our flight leaves at 8am on Saturday and we’ll leave the house around 5:30am on Saturday…which means it’s about 30 hours until our journey to our new home begins.

We are….mostly….packed.  There are a few errands left to be run, dvds to pick out for the flights (heavy on the Elmo for Elanor) from our collection, and a party to attend.  My replacement kindle should arrive tomorrow after today’s unfortunate accident whereupon somehow I broke my kindle’s screen, which led to much cursing.

Personally, I’m feeling a bit empty…as though I’m feeling so many things at once that I’m not sure what to feel.  Excitement, exasperation (mostly at the whole packing thing), anticipation, fear, sadness, homesickness…it all ebbs and flows from minute to minute.

On the upside, at least I can say that my time in Boston ended on a personal high note.  I dropped by the Chestnut Hill Mall to pick up a few things for Elanor from Gymboree and as I was cutting through Bloomingdale’s on the way back to my car, I got to see Tim Gunn from “Project Runway”!  He was doing a personal appearance at the Kate Spade show, which just happened to be next to the escalator.  Again, only because of our departure from Boston, I’ve taken to carrying my camera with me at all times, which allowed me to get a few pictures.

Make it work, people….

Not bad advice for me today, or any day….

Elanor’s Going Away Party

When I think about how the move will affect Elanor, one of the most difficult things to accept is that we are taking her away from our families and the friends (old and new) who have been such a huge part of her life since she was a newborn. Granted, we will Skype, we will blog, we will facebook, and we will twitter…but it’s not the same as getting together for a spur of the moment play-date at a home, the zoo, or the playground.

While Elanor is too young to have memories of her life in Boston, we will make sure she knows how much she’s loved by those we won’t be seeing so frequently anymore. This past Saturday was an example of why…her going away party. When I told my friends at Isis Maternity (where we’ve taken mom & baby classes for over a year) that Ravi had accepted the job in Singapore, Lily offered to host a going away playdate immediately. Friends came together on a gorgeous unseasonably warm day to play, to do art (led by the fabulous Aimee of Red Shoe Arts /maid of honor extraordinaire), and wish Elanor “Bon Voyage.”

We already miss all of you, and we haven’t even left yet…

Thoughts on Moving

Moving is always a challenge. Moving internationally is a pain in the ass.

There’s the stuff that isn’t worth bringing (almost anything with an American plug/current configuration), the stuff that we want to hold onto but not take to Singapore, the stuff we want to give away, and the stuff we’re taking. Separating all of it into the correct piles, being home for the Freecycle pickups, and working with two different moving companies was a lot to do, especially with a toddler in the mix. Now, as I watch the international movers pack up my stuff, I’m working on paperwork-customs declarations, inventories, insurance forms. Ravi has a meeting with a tax accountant next week after he comes back to better understand how the tax situation (yes we’ll still have to pay US taxes as well as Singapore taxes) will work.

But it’s also an amazing opportunity.

Recently I’ve been thinking about how this move would have completely unfathomable to me 10 years ago. Sure, I went to France for a month, and sure, I dreamt of living in London, but I had no idea of what the reality of an international move would be, and if I had known, I would have run screaming in the other direction. I’m so grateful for Ravi and his parents (as well as their friends) who have gone through this before and have reassured me time and again that while it is overwhelming in the moment, it will all be okay.

I’m so excited for Elanor and the wonderful experiences she will have living abroad. She’ll attend school where she will be taught in English and a second language, most likely Mandarin. The travel opportunities near Singapore (Thailand, Vietnam, Australia, New Zealand, etc) are places we would have loved to go to, but other than Australia would probably never have made the 20+ hour flight to visit from Boston to visit.

But I think the best benefit for Elanor is seeing the diverse range of kids she’ll meet there. She’ll know kids of every nationality, religion, ethnic or religious view, etc. To paraphrase Barack Obama “The benefit of travel or living abroad is that you learn, on a visceral level, that people in other countries are just that–people.” It’s pretty hard to make generalizations about a particular religious or ethnic group (for example Muslims) when you grew up knowing people who were that ethnic group/ sexual orientation/ religion/ etc.

Conversely, the hardest part is leaving our friends, our family, and the familiar. Ravi and I both went to college in the Boston area, and we’ve both lived here for the better part of our adult lives. We know where the stores and restaurants we like are, which services are where, the fastest route to something during rush hour, the subway map is burned into our brains, and even things as mundane as knowing who to go to when I need a shoe repaired are all part of our lexicon of knowledge about the greater Boston area. In Singapore thus far I know where the zoo is (and how to take a cab there), have a very basic understanding of the subway system, and have located the local franchise of “The Little Gym” where Elanor will continue taking gymnastics. Its intimidating to think of starting over with new local friends when many of our friends here have been friends for 5, 10, or more years.

But as I watch the movers pack our stuff in preparation for tomorrow’s loading into a container not to be seen again for at least 65 days, I am filled with a mix of excitement and nerves.

Our “look-see” trip to Singapore in Feb 2010

When Ravi was offered the job in Singapore we were excited but nervous.  Ravi hadn’t been to Singapore since he’d been a teenager and I had never been.  It seemed like a really major move to make without at least a quick trip to look and see what life would be like for us there.  So we asked and were very generously given a week long trip to help us in our decision.

We left on a Saturday, flying from our home in Boston to New York, and then from New York to Singapore via Frankfurt, arriving Monday morning around 7am, local time.  Ravi went into GNB (I’m not going to name his employer, but instead will call them GNB in a reference to the American tv show “How I Met Your Mother”) and Elanor and I wandered Singapore on Monday and Tuesday of that week.  We looked at apartments on Wednesday.  On Thursday I was lucky enough to meet some moms and tots from the American Women’s Association while Ravi was at work.  On Friday we took Ella to the zoo.  Saturday we flew out in the late evening, so we spent the day on Sentosa Island (a resort Island that’s part of Singapore) at the aquarium.

A few videos and pictures from the trip…

Elanor in the stroller that the hotel lent us until ours was found and returned to us by Singapore Air.

First impressions of Singapore

Checking out the balcony of our hotel room

Skyline view #1 from our hotel balcony

Skyline View #2 from our hotel balcony

A zoomed in shot of the cranes that unload the ships, taken from our hotel balcony

Skyline with the Singapore version of the London Eye (too lazy to look up the name of the tourist attraction in Singapore…but same difference…you ride in a pod, you get a 360 view of the city)

A view of one of the two hotel pools from our balcony. We were on the 2oth floor, the pool was on the 8th.

Elanor “swims” in the pool

Elanor with a Chinese New Year orange tree. She ripped a bunch of oranges off one in the Singapore Airlines lounge after trying to get at them throughout the city for a week and constantly being thwarted by me.

They love their shopping in Singapore

Decorations for Chinese New Year at one of the Malls

A bathroom sign at the mall. I took the picture because in my mind it looks like they’re jumping for joy. Like “YAY…I get to go to the BATHROOM!!!” While it may show how lame I am, I’m still laughing at it 3 weeks later.

Cotton-top Tamarinds at the Singapore Zoo

Free-Range Monkey at the Singapore Zoo

There’s a few other zoo vids at my youtube page…I won’t bore you with them…

Elanor by the entrance to the Singapore Zoo

One of their gorgeous White Tigers

Wearing Having a bit of water before the Elephant Show. She had been wearing a skirt that matched the top, but it was a bit long for climbing up and down the stairs while we waited for the show, so I changed her into this one.

An elephant with its mahout.

In the Garden

From the Zoo’s KidzWorld Waterpark

Video of Elanor at the waterpark

Mmmm …a healthy lunch

I call this one “What?”

Our little family

Fireworks!!! I’m guessing for Chinese New Year

They were advertised as Nachos with cheese. At home we call them Nacho Cheese Doritos with a bunch of string cheese melted on them.

While on the subject of food…seen in a donut shop in the mall our hotel was connected to.

On left “Choco Caviar Mint-Bite more ‘cool’ chocolate to make you relax”

On right “Choco Caviar Strawberry-Sprinkle premium chocolate with strawberry that will tickle your mouth”

“Hazel Dazzle-Be sexy with dazzling hazelnut chocolate and get suprised with coffee cream”

“Oreology–Biology=lousy Geology=sleepy Oreology=yummy!”

In what became a bit of a theme, Elanor was randomly given this gift with a “Happy Chinese New Year” by a complete stranger on the subway. Two oranges were inside.

Sentosa Island, where we spent our last day before getting on the plane home at 11pm that night. We spent several hours at the aquarium, called Underwater World

Feeding Freshwater Fish

Clips from the Dolphin Show

PINK DOLPHINS!


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