Thanksgiving

Posted on November 26, 2010 by Expat Bostonians

Today was American Thanksgiving.  It’s an odd sort of holiday, as it’s secular and it doesn’t actually celebrate any real event, person, or thing.

As American schoolchildren, we were (and to extent still are, especially here in Massachusetts) fed the story of the Pilgrims and the “Indians” and “The First Thanksgiving” where the Pilgrims were starving and the Natives brought them food and there was a giant feast.  Kids make Turkey handprints, make stupid hats out of paper plates and enjoy half a week off (the usual is a half day on Wed, getting you home around lunch, with Thursday and Friday off).

For my non-American friends…the whole “First Thanksgiving” thing?  Total bullshit.  Here is a link to the only two surviving primary documents about the “First Thanksgiving.”  There WAS a harvest celebration, but it was not anything special.  Yes, the Wampanoag people helped the starving Pilgrims.  But let’s not fool ourselves into thinking there was all sorts of happy happy joy joy and togetherness.  The Separatists were a gloomy people who were incredibly pious, and the last thing they would have done is gone in for some gluttony.  There was tension, and often outright hostility between the natives and the Europeans in North America.  And disease.  Lots of disease that the Indigenous peoples had no antibodies to help protect them against.  Here is a link that shares and debunks other popular myths about Thanksgiving (most of which, as a former elementary school teacher I can safely tell you are still be disseminated because as Americans, we hate to let history get in the way of a good story).

In 1863, a Sarah Josepha Hale who you would better know as the author of that ubiquitous children’s rhyme “Mary Had a Little Lamb” wrote a letter to Abraham Lincoln asking him to declare “Thanksgiving” (previously celebrated only in New England) a national holiday.  (Locals–she also was a campaigner for the Bunker Hill Monument…although the Bunker Hill Battle actually happened on Breed’s Hill during the Siege of Boston during the American Revolution).    He did so, and Thanksgiving was periodically celebrated nationwide, but most often as a day of solemnity and prayer, and not annually on a fixed day.

The modern Thanksgiving (celebrated on the 4th Thursday of November) was signed into law by FDR in 1941.  Over the years, it has gained a strong association with football as it gained popularity, and a giant feast including Turkey, stuffing, cranberry sauce and other food.

Ravi and I have a hit or miss history with Thanksgiving.  In 2005, we celebrated with our respective families.  In 2006, we were in Niagara Falls, Canada…a country that celebrates its Thanksgiving a month prior, so it was just “Thursday,” making it easy to procure food (although if I recall, we ate at Outback instead of consuming turkey).  In 2007, we think we hosted both sets of parents at our place.  In 2008, Ravi had gastroenteritis and Elanor was still in the hospital.  She and I spent the day together…but it was a huge deal as it was the first day she did not need to be continuously hooked up, and I got to carry her around the children’s wing, describing all the ocean-themed art on the walls to my sleeping 3 week old.  We did a family thanksgiving a few weeks later, once she’d been released from the hospital.  In 2009, we had a big family thanksgiving with Ravi’s family…relatives flew in from all over the US.  It was kind of my dream rockwellian fantasy of what Thanksgiving could be.  Today, we had a small family event with my friend Curt joining us.  It was fairly low key…especially the part where Curt, Ravi and I were hanging out on a couch talking and eventually all just fell asleep for a good hour.

Football was watched, food was consumed (including my apple pie from scratch–use Martha‘s pie crust recipe and this apple pie recipe for ultimate yumminess), naps were taken.  All in all…a good Thanksgiving.

I wonder what a Thanksgiving would be like in Singapore?  Ravi would have to take the day off, as it would just be the fourth Thursday of the month.  I have an oven, so I could manage a Thanksgiving dinner (or we could join with friends to create a bigger one).  But without that snap of cold in the air…and the smell of snow not yet fallen…would it feel the same?  I suppose we’ll find out with Christmas.

Filed under: Boston, Holidays (Not Singaporean), US | 3 Comments »

Wordless Wednesday–Sights of Home

Posted on November 25, 2010 by Expat Bostonians

Filed under: Boston, Maine, New York City, Pictures, US | Leave a Comment »

Surprised to find myself missing Singapore

Posted on November 22, 2010 by Expat Bostonians

No one is more surprised than I by this, but I’ve found myself missing Singapore.

Those first cool, dry breaths of air as I exited the airplane in Chicago and then Boston have been replaced by numbingly cold winds that whip my cheeks reproachfully, and make me think longingly of shorts and warmth.  The lack of humidity has also had the aesthetically unpleasing result of stealing the majority of Elanor’s curls, leaving her with some twists at the bottom, but not the full head of corkscrews that I delight in.  The daily, constant arguments with the two year old over the necessity of coats and shoes is growing more tiresome by the hour and I long for clean sidewalks and  bare feet slapping by the pavement near a fountain that she is actually allowed to play in.  The days long icy-cold rain drools onto my windshield and I miss the flash floods that constitute rain in Singapore–drenching, but quickly over with.

It has been six months since I have not had an almost constant second set of hands, courtesy of my helper, B.  I had forgotten, for the most part, the joys of wrangling and paying one’s bill at a store at the same time.  I find myself wondering how I managed before her or without her.  The truth, I know, is that my house was a mess and I didn’t cook dinner with any sort of regularity.  That clothes piled up, got wrinkled, and were hung back up with all the haste of an elderly snail.  Why I never had time to write, submit, or publish.  Why my camera only seemed to be pulled out on vacations.

As I delight in the joy of seeing friends here, I wonder what our friends in Singapore are up to.  Who’s at the zoo, at Royce, at the Vivo fountains.

I photograph fall leaves and naked trees, but miss the palm trees and orchids.

I would not call Singapore “home” by a long shot…but it *is* where I live now, and I find myself missing my familiar day to day sights and sounds.  I am shocked to find myself looking forward to returning home, even as I know that doing so will make me miss Boston with the same fierce longing as I’ve felt these past six months.

 

Filed under: Boston, Random Stuff, Singapore, US | Leave a Comment »

American Grocery Stores–Overwhelming

Posted on November 17, 2010 by Expat Bostonians

Recently I entered an American grocery store for the first time in almost seven months.  In a word, it was overwhelming.

On one hand, we are extremely spoiled in Singapore.  My friend E lived in Japan for the past eight years and assures me that the selection of American options there is FAR more limited.  While it might take three stores to get the job done, I keep my pantry fairly well stocked with American foods.

However, this means I pick between three or four options for microwave popcorn.  I’m profoundly grateful when Cold Storage deigns to carry tater tots (and we buy two five-pound bags just to have a reasonable stockpile of them.  That I go to a store specifically to buy the kosher dill pickles I can’t find anywhere else is just part of life.

Imagine what it’s like, after six months of very limited choice, then, to walk into a store and see twenty microwave popcorn options.  To see an aisle where one of the major items listed is pickles…and to see multiple companies and multiple flavors cut multiple ways in one simple store.  Imagine a store that seems cavernous compared to what you’ve become accustomed to.

Now picture me wandering it for a good half hour, too overwhelmed to pick anything, and you have a good idea of what it was like for me.  Then picture me loading up on all the junk food I’ve been missing (and some I didn’t realize I was missing until I saw it).

I’m so coming back to Singapore a dress size bigger than I left it.  Sigh.

 

As a side note–I’m about to send my computer back to the shop.  I forgot about a few issues, and need to have them dealt with before we leave.

Filed under: Culture Shock, US | Leave a Comment »

Sesame Sesame Sesame….

Posted on November 13, 2010 by Expat Bostonians

One of the most puzzling things to me about life in Singapore is that Sesame Street isn’t on tv.  Sesame was such an integral part of my young life, and there are few kids in the US who don’t know who Elmo is (coupled with the fact that it’s shown in over 100 countries worldwide) has inextricably linked Sesame and childhood in my mind.

Elanor has been an Elmo junkie since shortly after her first birthday.  It was the premiere of the 40th season of Sesame and Michelle Obama was going to be on, so I settled one year old Ella and myself down and we began to watch.  E didn’t care about the rest of Sesame, but when Elmo appeared onscreen, she was entranced.

That love has spread to the rest of Sesame, but E has a special place for Elmo in her heart.  Her recent party in Singapore was Elmo themed (I bought all the decorations before we left the states and shipped them as part of our household shipment).  The only movies/cartoons she wants to see on tv are our Sesame DVD’s and Elmo DVD’s.  She sleeps with an Elmo.

The problem is that because Sesame and Elmo aren’t big in Singapore, it’s next to impossible to find stuff.  You can get some of the Elmo DVD’s at Toys R Us and various video stores, and TRU has a few stuffed characters.  At a Japanese store in Plaza Singapura (I forget the name but they’re next to the Build a Bear if you need them) I found our Elmo bag that carried E’s stuff on the plane.  But Elmo books?  Other Elmo/Sesame toys?  Nope–all Barney, all the time (and please allow me to say I have banned that purple monstrosity from my home and loathe it with every fiber of my being).

So while we are here, I am loading up on every dvd, book, toy, t-shirt, pajama, etc  emblazoned with her beloved Elmo that I can get my hands on.

Now I just have to hope that customs doesn’t think I’m out to open my very own Elmo store.

Filed under: Boston, Shopping, Singapore, US, With Kids | 2 Comments »

Being home…the good, the bad and the ugly

Posted on November 11, 2010 by Expat Bostonians

Again, I’m short on time, so I’m going to bullet point this out…

The Good

  • Seeing friends and family, having them see how big E is and what an awesome little person she’s turning into
  • Driving my car
  • Having great doctor’s appointments (E had some medical issues in the month after birth which have led to long term relationships with many pedi specialists…some of which may finally be coming to an end as she does not seem to suffer long term effects from her illness).
  • Yummy food
  • Not sweating every time I step outside
  • Target/BabiesRUs/etc
  • Sales!
  • The ability to return stuff

The Bad

  • Missing Ravi, who isn’t arriving until this weekend (when I’ll be in Maine)
  • The drizzling freezing rain for the past 3 days
  • The getting dark at 4:30pm
  • persistent jetlag
  • missing my helper
  • waiting for my back-up drive to arrive with Ravi so I can restore my harddrive

The Ugly

  • Ravi/my helper asking me to solve problems from 10k miles away
  • the cold/sinus infection that just isn’t getting better

Filed under: Boston, cars/busses/etc, Random Stuff, Singapore, Travel, US | 3 Comments »

My laptop is dead / Quick thoughts on being home

Posted on November 6, 2010 by Expat Bostonians

Every writer’s worst nightmare happened to me on the 14 hour flight from Hong Kong to Chicago…I opened my laptop only to find it suddenly, distressingly unable to boot.  Luckily, I have an “AppleCare” protection plan, so getting my baby fixed is as simple as going to the Apple Store and dropping off the laptop.

Sadly it will be about a week to fully fix my laptop, so posting is likely to be quite light this week.  I do have access to my in-laws computers, but it’s just not the same as curling up with my laptop and babbling here on the blog.  Also–all my pictures are on the laptop.

Sigh.

***************************

With that in mind, I want to share some quick thoughts that I may later expand on.

The flights

  • Other than it being a ridiculously long journey from one side of the planet to the other, I have to say that for the most part I had a drama-free journey.  I was very lucky in that for the most part, the people I encountered were friendly, made an effort to help me, and we were spared the “children don’t belong on planes” crowd (at least to our faces).
  • For all that Elanor is a draining child (she’s just really really really active and strong-willed) she is a truly amazing traveler.  She had a few short crying jags (usually as she was fighting sleep), but in total probably cried for less than an hour of a 30 hour journey.  She slept, she watched Elmo, she “read” her books, she played with the counting app on the iPod, we sang a few songs.  She handled the airline food far better than I did (which is to say she actually ate, and I ate food I’d brought).  She slept more than me.  I don’t know what I did to deserve this, but please let any future child(ren) also have whatever good traveler gene she inherited from Ravi.
  • The biggest potential for drama was when I had to gate check my rolling carry-on bag in Hong Kong because the plane was at capacity and the overheads were full before I got on the plane.  I use an attachment called the traveling toddler (15 usd on amazon) which attaches your car seat to a rolling carryon such that the carry-on’s wheels turn it into a pseudo-stroller.  I balance E’s bag on top of the carryon and push it like a stroller through the airports.  Gate checking my bag meant that I wouldn’t see it again until the luggage carousel after immigration at O’Hare…a very long walk from the plane.  Without the carry-on I had a sleeping 20+ lb baby, a giant car seat, a backpack and two tote bags.  And a bad back.  Luckily, the flight attendants and ground crew hooked me up with a luggage cart on the breezeway, and I just put E (in the carseat) and the totes on that.  Potential crisis averted.
  • I was also very lucky that we managed to not need the (1) spare clothes in the carry-on (2) back-up spare diapers in the carry-on (3) sippies  or (4) other assorted crap in the carry-on during the long flight.
  • The absolute worst part of the flight was when I got to the gate in Chicago and the gate attendants announced a “creeping delay” that “might result in a cancellation.”  I almost started crying…I was 2 hours from home…NO NO NO NO.  That the sky went black and a mix of rain and tiny pieces of hail were then vomited by the massive clouds didn’t help things.  Or the knowledge that there’d been an earlier cancellation.  Luckily we got into the air only an hour and a half behind schedule.
  • The gate attendant in Chicago (after I’d been traveling for 24+ hours and was out of patience for stupid people) refused to pre-board me because “families take too long to board so we don’t pre-board them.”  Would anyone like to point out the logical fallacy in that statement?  YES, families take too long to board so you start boarding them BEFORE they hold up a line of 100+ people to detach their car seat from their carry-on, put their bag away and have to be in the aisle to correctly install their car seat into the aisle seat.  Whatever…she was far outweighed by the wonderful attendants on all the flights who stopped by to say hi to E, who were very sweet about getting her milk/juice when the cart wasn’t going around, and who helped me find a solution in Chicago when my carry-on and I were separated.
  • In Hong Kong and Chicago I’d been very polite and respectful, waiting until the plane was empty to remove the car seat and reattach it to the carry-on.  In Boston, I was like “I don’t care that there aren’t any motherfucking snakes…I want OFF of this motherfucking plane.”  A fellow passenger carried two of my bags while I carried the car seat off the plane and hooked everything together on the breezeway.  I then practically RAN to baggage claim.

Time Difference

  • The first person who whines about the one hour time change in the US tonight (for daylight savings time) to me is getting it.  We are dealing with a 12 hour time inversion.
  • On Friday E woke up at 3:20am and was placated by Elmo until 5:30 when her grandmother took her.  She stayed awake until about 2pm when she crashed.  I tried to make her be awake a few times, but all that resulted in was Elanor using Kate’s lap as a bed during dinner at Bombay Mahal (Kate joined us after having dinner with her dad–I did not deny a friend dinner so I could eat).
  • Today (Saturday) she woke up at 4:45am.  We are seeing forward progress in the right direction.  Luckily she has a joint birthday party with my dear friend Aimee’s son at 3pm, and all the kids should keep her (over)stimulated enough to stay awake late enough that gaining an hour shouldn’t set our progress back…much.

BEING HOME

  • Mostly it’s weird how not weird being home is.  It feels seamless…like I fell asleep, had a weird dream about living in some crazy place called Singapore, and woke up the next morning.  I’m sure that will pass as I keep finding stuff that’s changed (what the hell happened in Davis Square?) but in general I feel completely at home here (duh…it’s home).
  • My exact words to Kate were “You should be prepared to restrain me…I want to get naked and have an orgy with Target” (my apologies to my parents and my in-laws).
  • I never thought I’d say this…but OHMYGODILOVEBABIESRUS!!!
  • I also love prices in the US.  I’m sure Kate and Curt were sick of playing the “guess how much I pay in Singapore for this” game.  Kool-aid…1.97USD…I pay 7SGD, which is 5USD in Singapore.  Just as I was over the sticker shock…I’m dealing with reverse sticker shock.
  • I don’t think I’ve ever hugged people as tightly as I’m hugging them now after not seeing them for six months.  Prepare yourselves accordingly.
  • “I’m in from Singapore, want to come meet me and do X?” is the best and most effective question EVER.  My thanks go out to Curt’s boyfriend for letting me hijack their Friday night, and to Kate for turning around and coming back to Moody Street to join us for dinner after having dinner with her dad on Moody Street.  I will do my best not to become drunk with power :)
  • COOL AIR, I love you.  FALL, I love you.
  • Elanor remains unconvinced that shoes are necessary in this part of the world and keeps removing them and getting cranky when I keep putting them back on her.

Stuff I miss about Singapore (I know, I didn’t expect this either!)

  • The sound proofing from the thickness of the walls.  After Sue took E yesterday morning, I could hear everything downstairs far more clearly than I’ve become used to hearing muffled sounds in Singapore when E gets up with B.
  • My helper…it’s a weird for her not to be around.  Meanwhile, she turned what I considered a week-long project into a day project out of boredom.  I may come home to find a hole polished into a window…I keep telling/txting her to relax and watch some tv but she tells me she wants to keep busy.
  • I’m blanking, but I was telling Ravi that there was something else too.

If you don’t have my US number, I put it on facebook.  You can also email me for it if you need it.

Filed under: Boston, Culture Shock, Flying, headdesk moments, Random Stuff, Travel, US | 2 Comments »

Back in the USA

Posted on November 5, 2010 by Expat Bostonians

Longer post to follow once I’ve recovered.

Flying 30 hours congested, alone with a toddler, and without sleep is probably not going to make my list of “10 coolest things ever” but we survived.  Elanor was a total trooper and with the exception of a few short crying jags, just went with the flow.

Filed under: Flying, Travel | 2 Comments »

Elanor’s birthday video

Posted on November 3, 2010 by Expat Bostonians

One of my presents to her

 

Filed under: Holidays (Not Singaporean), Video | 1 Comment »

Now you are 2

Posted on November 3, 2010 by Expat Bostonians

Dear Elanor

Two years ago, you were still a mystery.  A fuzzy image on a monitor.  A bouncy girl inside my uterus, waiting to come out.  Two years ago, I was asking nurses about progress, impatient to have you enter the world and to hold you in my arms.  Two years ago, you were still mostly a stranger, but you were already loved.

At one, you were walking (and running) and had less than 10 words.  You still napped.  You were still a baby, although I could see hints of little girl starting to peek out from your face.

This past year you have truly blown me away.  You have thrown babyhood away with both hands and embraced your toddlerhood.  You are a little girl, a baby no more.  You speak in sentences, even if it’s just to tell us “No more Simpsons.  Want Elmo.”  Your hair has sprouted and corkscrewed past your shoulders…most often it is back in an adorable curly pony tail.

You adopted the sippy cup and abandoned your bottle.  You have learned to eat with a spoon, although the fork is still a mystery to you.  Why bother when you have perfectly good fingers, right?  You eat a huge variety of things, but your favorites include strawberry or mango yogurt, bananas, cheetos, McDonalds nuggets, watermelon, grapes, pickles, apple juice, pineapple juice, and kool-aid (when we let you have a sip of ours…which you call “juice”).

This has been a year of profound change for our family.  Your Daddy was laid off from his job last November, and in his search for a new job, we moved halfway around the world to Singapore.  I never imagined living with you in a small Southeast Asian country 84 miles north of the equator, even when your Dad and I would talk about moving abroad…we’d always pictured Europe.

Obviously the move was scary.  Not that I was worried that you wouldn’t adjust…but I was worried that we wouldn’t be happy here, that we would’ve completely turned your life upside down and taken you away from friends and family for nothing.  Happily, we’ve made friends and you’ve found playmates again.  You have adapted to life here; taking to the water with the ease of a mermaid, your adoration of the local zoo (that we can visit 365 days a year)

You’ve learned to skype online with your grandparents.

You visited Phuket, Thailand and while on vacation there, started swimming with just arm floaties.

You are an incredibly happy little girl.  Unless you are hungry or tired, you have a smile on your face and an enthusiasm for life that radiates from you.  You almost never just walk–you bounce, you dance, you sprint, you run with your arms wide open as if to hug the world as you do.  You have a beautiful smile, and your eyes dance with laughter.  The gymnastics classes you’ve been taking for a year now help you tumble and climb your way through your days.

You’ve embraced new friends this year.  We have a live-in helper named Ebeth, and the two of you are very close.  If I’m not around, she is your preferred pal.  She is endlessly patient with you (for while you are happy, you are also trying at times).  She’ll miss you terribly during our trip home.  You’ve made new little friends-Aiden, Garret, Noah, and Henry.

Your happiness is only matched by your stubborness.  You are a “my way or the highway” kind of girl.  You do not want to be in the stroller, preferring to walk or have me carry you (which I would love to do, but as your weight increases, so does the strain on my low back). The word no can cause tantrums and whining (the whining is not my favorite sound in the world, just saying).  You can be obsessive…it has to be THIS thing in THIS way.  Quarter of an inch off, facing east instead of west, and the world has suddenly become a post-apocalytic nightmare.

You are sweet.  You freely give hugs and kisses (once you’ve warmed up to strangers).  You get concerned when another baby is crying.  You lavish love on your dolls and stuffed animals.

You are very bright.  You can identify most of the numbers from 1-20 with little error, although counting on your own shows that you have small sequences put together, but not all sequences are in the right order “1,2, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9″ for example.  But you love numbers and would rather play with them than letters.  Which is not to say you don’t love letters and books…we spend a good chunk of every day with books.  You’ve learned about half to 2/3rd of your letters on site (although not phonics) and can sequence some of the abc song correctly.  You love ask and answer books where you can respond to questions or say what an animal says to “help” read the book.

I was worried about your language until you hit about 20 months…in the last 4,  you went from random single words to three and very rarely four word sentences.  I understand a large chunk of what you say, but there’s still a lot of gibberish or struggle to pronounce that makes your speech occassionally unintelligible.

You and your Daddy watch football (you say “watch feetball with Daddy”) on the NFL game pass program he bought to stream the games to Singapore.  We dress you up in your dolphins dress and you usually make it through the first half before needing to go to bed (you watch after your dad gets home from work, so it’s a late start).

You are a constant source of joy, laughter (sometimes at you…thanks for smearing diaper cream all over yourself and your bedroom…you’ll have only yourself to blame when that shows up in slideshows for the rest of your life), love, smiles, and hugs.  My life is so much richer for having you in it, and I love you deeply.

Each year I’ll have a new letter sharing all the new ways in which you’ve become a strong, independent girl…and then woman…but you’ll still always be my baby.

Love

Mommy

Filed under: Holidays (Not Singaporean), Pictures | 4 Comments »

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