7 Links Blog Project

18 months, 340 posts….it all comes down to 7

I’ve just been invited by Kirsten of Funny Little World to participate in ‘The 7 Links Blog Project‘. For this project, bloggers from all over the world make a list of their top posts in a range of categories, creating a sort of one-stop shop for 7 notable posts from their blog. Each blogger than extends this project by inviting 3 others to participate.

MY MOST BEAUTIFUL POST

Now you are 2

This is the letter I wrote to Elanor on her second birthday. While I don’t use Expat Bostonians as a parenting blog per se, I am a mom.  Watching her grow up and come into her own as a person has been one of the most fascinating (which is not to say not also frustrating at times) experiences I’ve had.

When I read back through my previous entries, this is the post that made me stop and smile at the memory.  Maybe it’s being pregnant again, but when I think about the posts that I would most like my girls to read when they’re older, this is probably one of the first I think of, even though it’s not so much about being an expat or the move.  It’s just about life.

MY MOST POPULAR POST

Voyage de la Vie at Resorts World Sentosa (show review)

I have to admit I’m kind of baffled by the unrelenting popularity of this post..it’s actually the third result in a google search for “voyage de la vie review” and the 9th link when you google “voyage de la vie” (and is the first blog link listed).  I’m not a professional reviewer…I’m just someone who has seen a LOT of theater in her day and who loves theater, and thus is fairly opinionated about theater.

This could also fall under “most suprisingly successful post” because in the year since I’ve written it, there hasn’t been a week when it wasn’t a top search term or top viewed post and quite honestly, I find that baffling!  Further, while it has the most page views, there are NO comments!

MY MOST CONTROVERSIAL POST

Skin Whitening, it’s a thing here

When I wrote this post, I thought I was just writing a “this is a local thing I find strange” post.  The post generated the most comments in the history of my blog (only 24, but that’s a lot for me), and started a fascinating discussion about race, gender,and beauty ideals.  I’ve been meaning to do a longer, more thoughtful and purposeful post on those topics for a while now, and rediscovering this post and remembering the discussion it  inspired has re-motivated me.

MY MOST HELPFUL POST

Seth Rogen talks about Singapore on Conan and SG isn’t happy

Usually I am baffled by Singapore (although less and less with the passage of time) or find myself at a loss to explain “Americans” or “Western” stuff. (I really can’t explain the election of W…sorry…I’m still mystified by it as well) to Singaporeans.

This was one brief shining moment where I actually understood both sides of a US/Singapore disconnect and felt confident in explaining it to both sides.  Long story short was that Seth Rogen appeared on a talk show (Conan O’Brien) and from the American perspective cracked a few funny jokes about Singapore–from Singapore, he BASHED their home country and was incredibly dismissive and rude.

I had considered some of my expat to expat advice for this column, but I think that this was actually more helpful and helpful on a broader scale.

MY MOST SURPRISINGLY SUCCESSFUL POST

Bad Expat, Ur Doin it Rong

My friend Maria wrote a great blog post about how to “Become an Ugly Expat in 12 easy steps” which really resonated with me.  In part because it’s a great post, and in part because it tugged at a few insecurities of mine…namely that I might kind of suck at this whole “expat thing” after dreaming of living abroad my whole life.

As with the skin whitening post, when I wrote it, I was mostly just trying to unpack my feelings and my fears.  But the ensuing conversation (which was fantastic, and the only other post besides the skin whitening one to inspire 20+ comments) really inspired me to redefine what I think makes a “good” expat and how it’s actually okay that I take my time to adjust.

It was also around this time that I really began to feel like I was part of an expat blogging community instead of just a fringe lurker.  That I might actually have something valuable to say about this experience, rather than just making a blog of random adventures around Singapore.  I began to feel more confident in my voice and I’m really proud of how this post became such a turning point for me, at least mentally/emotionally.

MY MOST UNDERRATED POST

Thailand Part 2

Maybe it’s the crappy title I gave the post, but I really feel like this was a great, and thoughtful post that has been totally overlooked.  Granted it is a long post and it is picture and video heavy.

However…

This post describe a day long adventure with Siam Safari in Phuket Thailand.  In doing so, I talk about the questionable ethics of elephant trekking and “eco-tourism” in general.  I worry about treating people’s lives (the Karen people who work at Siam Safari specifically…and this was before Kirsten educated me far more thoroughly on their lives) as a tourist attraction.

Phuket is a common vacation destination from Singapore, and elephant trekking is one of their biggest tourist draws, so this is probably the post that I wish I could ask people to go back and really read and comment upon.  If I were writing it today, I would probably have given it a better title and tried to make it a little less dense in terms of pictures and video (or done two posts, with one specifically talking about my mixed emotions on the subject).  But if you’re a new reader-I highly recommend going back and reading (and commenting) on this post.

POST I AM MOST PROUD OF

Maids, Cultural Expectations and the importance of modeling-expat to expat advice

Having a helper (or a maid, if you prefer) has been one of the most surreal experiences I’ve had.  Being an expat is loaded with opportunities for miscommunication, cultural misunderstanding and frustration.  Having a person with different cultural baggage, who is an employee in your home only multiplies and magnifies those opportunities.

The trickiest part of navigating all of this is when one or both people see something as “obvious”.  This post was born of a misunderstanding created when I thought it was “obvious” how to make a pbj (peanut butter and jelly) sandwich, when it wasn’t to B.

I’m most proud of this post because I allowed myself to be honest, to detail where *I* had screwed up.  I’m honest about how these moments of conflict are uncomfortable and challenging to navigate, particularly for the Western Expat who has never had this sort of experience before.  It’s the post I wish I had read 18 months ago before I hired a maid–and still occasionally need to read and be reminded of to help prevent frustration on both sides of the employer/helper relationship.

You never want to let frustration over these small things outweigh the biggest positive–there is someone else in your home who loves and respects your child and wants only the best for them.  Another person who loves your child and only wants the best for them is only ever a good thing.

SUMMARY

So there you have it, the best of the best….or so I think.  I hope new readers will go back and enjoy some older posts.  I read and respond to every comment left (minus the spam) and would love to see you engage with some of these older entries.

I’m asking the following bloggers to come play 7 links!

Wordless Wednesday-The Big Buddha in Phuket (Thailand)

Thailand, Part 2 (warning photo and video heavy)

Ravi and I debated at some length what, if any, adventures we wanted to seek out beyond the resort.  One of the recent seasons of “The Amazing Race” had an episode in Phuket, and I’d been impressed by the part of their adventure that required them to get a picture taken with a tiger at the Phuket Zoo.  We also had a copy of the Lonely Planet’s mini-book on Phuket, which recommended the aquarium.  However, we were told the aquarium wasn’t impressive, and it was quite far away, leading us to eliminate it from the list of possibilities.  We had decided to the do the zoo until I started reading reviews of it…that the pens were small, the animals malnourished and mistreated, the tiger drugged off its ass in order to safely take those pictures the tourists (and The Amazing Race) so treasure.  While Ravi and I are fans of zoos, we elected to take a pass on the Phuket Zoo.

I turned my gaze to the Fodor’s book on Southeast Asia.  In its very small section on Phuket they talked about Elephant Trekking, which is a major component of the tourism industry (one of the resorts going so far as to have its own pet baby elephant to draw tourism dollars). Interestingly enough, elephants are not native to Thailand at all.  However, they’ve been used as work partners for hundreds of years, and some websites claims there are still some wild elephants in the extreme north of Thailand (although most sources say there aren’t any).  With industrialization and urbanization, the elephant, which is even considered a symbol of Thailand (and used to be on the flag and the money), has lost its place in society.  And thus has been relegated to a tool of tourism…according to several sources, about only 2500 elephants still remain in Thailand today, almost all in captivity, many taken from their mothers as babies (the mother is usually killed to be able to take the baby).

So with that knowledge the question was whether or not we could do elephant trekking ethically.  The Fodor’s guide recommended Siam Safari, which has been recognized for their humane treatment of elephants and efforts to preserve Thai nature and culture.  They seemed like a good way to ethically do the trekking, and they offered a longer day trip-for about $70 USD, we could have a six hour adventure that included a ride in 4×4′s, elephant trekking, learning about Thai farming and cooking, and a sunset cruise.  I decided to go, and Ravi eventually decided to come with me.

Incidentally, the day we did our trip with Siam Safari was Thailand’s Mother’s Day, a national holiday to celebrate the Queen’s birthday (pictures of her were everywhere), and in honor of which all bars were supposed to be closed.

We were picked up in a jeep where the back had been converted for seating, like the tuk-tuks on the road.  Unlike the tuk-tuks, the jeeps at least had doors that closed to keep everyone in and safe.

We were driven about 15 minutes to a base camp where we were divided into the groups that were just elephant trekking and those of us doing the longer tour (the color of our stickers helped).  I also took the chance to use a western toilet as I live in fear of squat toilets.  We were driven up the same mountain that the Big Buddha sits atop, which had a really steep grade.  On our way there, we drove past several other Elephant Trekking tours…including one where the elephants were being housed in a garage that was half fallen in on itself, standing it what was clearly filthy straw, making me feel sick and sad.

We were dropped off at a different camp with no elephants in sight.  There was a cow type animal (a water buffalo) and a sign for the “monkey show” along with a notice not to touch the monkey.  A monkey was tied off to a fence, waiting for us and the show to begin.

We learned about the various stages of training monkeys to work with humans to harvest coconuts and saw them demonstrate the various stages of the learning process.

He was rewarded with fruit when his demo was over.

We learned a little about Thai farming, and how they used to use Water Buffalo to help pull the plows.  Today, there are technologically cheaper and easier ways to farm.  But at Siam Safari, you can sit on one and take a photo or get pulled in a Water Buffalo tuk-tuk.

The guide discussed the importance of coconuts to the Thai people.  He talked about their various uses, and we saw a demonstration of how they make coconut oil (they were selling a small bottle of coconut oil for about $2USD), Thai Curry with coconuts, and a type of coconut pancake that they serve with sugar.  Each of these stations required a bit of a hike through some of the forest they own and preserve.

After boiling the coconuts for hours, the brown stuff below remains, and they use it on top of ice cream.  It was pretty yummy. The little boy is a mahout’s son (mahout-elephant driver) and will grow up to be a mahout as well.  He was pretty adorable.

A big part of the forest that they’re preserving is planted with rubber trees.  We saw how they get the rubber sap and how the sap is turned into what you and I would recognize as rubber.  The process is long, and the best time to harvest trees is around 2-3 am, so not only is it difficult work, but it requires working during hours none of us would be happy to work.  The payoff for a small piece of rubber is also quite small, and it’s difficult to see why they would bother maintaining the trees other than as part of cultural heritage and tourism (which is essentially their mission).

in the second part, you can hear the guide say that tourism makes more money than rubber

Walking through the forest, especially for a city girl like me was fun, right up until I saw one of these guys (the image is the third spider I saw and the only one not above me in a tree, making me terrified to take a picture from fear it would fall on me).  In case you’re wondering, it’s bigger than my hand.  Each leg is longer than my middle finger.  EEEK.

We moved onto the baby elephant show.  The elephants can’t stark trekking until they’re about 8-10, if I recall correctly, so when they’re babies, they do the baby elephant show to get used to humans other than the mahouts and to start learning commands.  I realize it’s pure pandering to the tourist who just looooooooove baby elephants…but what can I say…it works.  I do just loooooooooooooove baby elephants. They did a few standard tricks, and then we got to feed them a basket of fruit for just under $2 (which I imagine helps subsidize the cost of feeding baby elephants).

You can certainly argue the ethics of all of this–but in my opinion if it’s going to happen regardless, then it’s best to support the people who are doing it humanely.  If you remove the elephants from the equation, you have an ethnic group without work or training to do anything else (the Karen people, from Burma or Myanmar if you prefer/upper Thailand), and an animal who suddenly has no value other than its tusks and various body parts without enough forest to support its life in the wild.  It’s an ethical dilemma without easy answers.

From there, we moved onto the elephant trekking.  We had to walk to where the grown-up elephants and mahouts were waiting for us, and we walked past the Karen’s living area.  The Siam Safari attraction isn’t just an attraction…the Karen live there working the rubber trees and tending the elephants 24/7.  It felt distinctly strange to walk past people’s homes (which were on platforms about 8 feet from the ground).  Especially since at first I thought they were just another part of the tourist show.  I wonder how many other people realized they weren’t?

I figured it out when I saw these…

and

The elephant trekking lasted for about a half hour and basically consisted of trekking down to a point where you had an unobstructed view of Chalong Bay (where we would have our sunset cruise) and a view of the Big Buddha’s head at the top of the mountain.  The trek was very clearly cut out of the road, worn down (and muddy at times) from repeated elephant treks throughout each day.  Rather than sitting directly on the elephant (and I have no idea why I imagined that), there was a sturdy seat atop a bundle of padding, both to (I imagine) reduce the feeling of a metal contraption on the elephant and to reduce the motion for the rider (although it was still a bit roller coaster-ish at times, especially when the elephant headed down an incline).

The mahouts *do* actually sit directly on the elephant, where the head meets the neck, with their feet resting behind the ears, as you can see.  I couldn’t quite understand our mahout’s name as he had very limited English (enough to point to the Big Buddha and identify it, and the same for Chalong Bay), and most of our “communication” was via hand signals and smiles.  I was really happy to see that he was gentle with his elephant, letting her  stop to eat or to look at something she found interesting (only females are used during trekking-males are too unpredictable and have the potential to do damage with tusks-it is my understanding that they have a few males for breeding, but Siam Safari generally donates males to zoos, who also will take good care of them and use them for breeding).  We were told that the mahouts are paired with the elephants from a young age and they tend to work exclusively with the elephant, making a close relationship.  An elephant will work in trekking for about 25-35 years and then will be retired to the elephant preserve near Chang Mai run by the government.  When the elephant dies, they are brought back to Siam Safari and buried in a graveyard.

Understanding tourist impulses quite well, we all stopped and the mahouts took pictures of each of the teams with Chalong Bay in the background (it was hazy, so the view is a bit hard to see) using the tourists cameras.  At one point, someone from Siam Safari also took a moment to take a picture of each of the teams and we were offered copies of the photos back at base camp for about $6 USD, which of course we bought.

Chalong Bay and the Big Buddha’s head are obviously the biggest scenic moments, but it was also cool to see preserved rainforest…

After our ride, we got to feed our elephant (a much bigger basket of fruit for not much more money).

And we got to learn more about our elephant

We stopped long enough to get souvenirs and soda, and a bathroom break before heading back to base camp at the bottom of the hill.  There, a few more people left (I guess they weren’t doing the dinner cruise) and we had the chance to purchase our picture on Tong Yib.  We bought a reusable Siam Safari bag, and a seated Thai Buddha (which looks different from the standard Buddha).  The Buddha was the same thing I could buy at any tourist place in Phuket (or Thailand, if I’m being real), but I made the conscious choice to give my money to Siam Safari.  Over the course of the day, I tried to keep a critical eye and I have nothing but respect for how Siam Safari does their programs, treats their animals and tries to raise awareness while dealing with tourist who are just there for a good time.

After about 15 minutes at base camp we were driven down to the docks of Chalong Bay and transferred from our jeeps to a trolley that drove us the (not too long) length of the pier to where our ship was docked.  I took a moment to enjoy the view and play with my camera.  The yellow boat isn’t ours…but I thought it made for a cool opportunity to use the color accent feature.  In fact, I’m embarrassed to admit that I don’t have a picture of the boat we were on.

We had full roaming of the deck and it was a big enough boat that no one felt cramped.  Ravi and camped out near the bow of the boat, and enjoyed watching the islands and water pass by as we floated out into the Bay.

One of the things I saw was a shack, which I was told was a “Sea Gypsy” home.  They, like many groups in Thailand are suffering due to the country’s development and further industrialization.  It’s hard to make a living as a fisherman when there are boats that can do five or ten times your catch in a day, and drive down the market price per kilogram of the fish you do catch.

Cruising around, it was easy to see why Thai islands often feature in Hollywood movies.  There’s even an island (not where we were) that’s just become known as “James Bond Island” because part of “The Man With The Golden Gun” was filmed there.  “The Beach” with Leo DiCaprio was also filmed in Thailand.  But the beaches look so deserted, and so wild that it’s easy to see their appeal (and with the strength of the dollar, I’m sure there are plenty of other incentives as well).

We were fed on board (although the food was a bit cold, no big deal) and everyone had a free glass of wine, beer or soda (we generally elect for soda) and we watched the sun start to set over the bay.  I took far too many pictures, but here are a few of the ones I like best.

But the shot I’m most proud of is the following.  You need to click on it to make it larger, but if you do, you’ll see the Big Buddha  atop its hill just to the left of the red anchor.

It was a lovely and relaxing way to end the day.  Sadly we didn’t stay out on the water until dark, when the sunset colors are best, re-docking as the sun was still just a bit above the horizon.  We got to get into luxury vans as opposed to the jeeps, and were sent home tired and relaxed.

It’s hard to sum up a day like this.  On one hand, it’s exactly the kind of thing that appeals to tourists–a brief glimpse of local culture, some education (but not too much), some guilt for us liberals followed by a massage of our ego (but *we’re* helping those who are doing it ethically), feeding elephants and a sunset cruise.  Plenty of photo ops, but no real face to face time with the distasteful parts of the local culture that might make us unhappy or unlikely to give them more money.  On the other, it’s really obvious how the people of Thailand are suffering as they “benefit” from modernization.  iPhones, internet gaming, facebook references, and McDonalds are popping up everywhere…and tourists are bringing big bucks to a part of the country that was practically untouched and unvisited 50 years ago, except those who were interested in tin mining or rubber plantations…but those who live here are sometimes caught in many worlds, none of them representing economic advancement and respect of their way of life both.  Supporting companies like Siam Safari seems like a good way to find balance (supporting tourism, ethical treatment of animals and learning about a different way of life) but it still does seem a bit disrespectful to treat a way of life like a zoo or museum exhibit.

Personally, it reminded me how lucky I am.

And for our guide…yes, I’ll show you on facebook…

Thailand, Part 1

Getting to Thailand was fairly uneventful.  The flight was on time, our luggage arrived without problem, we got local sim cards for our cellphones at the airport, and were picked up by the scheduled transportation.  It was about an hour from the aiport to Patong Beach, where the resort was.  Everyone was hungry, but we decided to wait until the hotel to eat.

We elected for Thai food at the hotel, but were somewhat underwhelmed…it being hotel food.

Once the rooms were settled, B and I took Elanor to the kids pool, but were sidetracked on the way.

The kids pool was a wading pool, about the depth of Elanor chest.  She enjoyed it, at least for a half hour or so, especially the multiple sprays of water directed at the pool.

Afterward, Ravi and his dad were running an errand and Suchita wanted to rest, so B, Ellie and I decided to go and explore.  We changed E out of her bathing suit and into clothes, grabbed the stroller and headed out.

Phuket is not a city that is friendly to stroller or those who need accessible entrance.  The sidewalks are uneven, drivers don’t really pay attention to the concepts of lanes or crosswalks, and I don’t recall seeing stoplights in that part of Phuket.  Getting across a road required a delicate balance of judgment, playing chicken, and using other tourists as a shield between traffic and the stroller (assuming they would at least slow down a car that mowed into us, I reasoned fatalistically).

Across from our hotel was this

The “shopping paradise” was a rabbit warren of shops selling “real fake” purses, electronics, shoes, and clothes, tourist crap, bars, and food stalls.  And of course the bootleg dvds–everyone wanted us to buy those.  The sellers were aggressive in a way I hadn’t encountered since India, although they were less intimidating than what we’d run into in India.  In India people grab your arms, and pester you for a fairly long distance.  In Phuket, they’ll verbally accost you, but do not follow you or touch you (although, as in Singapore, kids are considered public property and Elanor’s cheek was patted, her hair petted and occasionally she would be picked up if she were walking along the street) so it was only annoying and not intimidating.  The goods were fairly unimpressive, as I don’t really have a need for “real fakes” or tons of touristy stuff.

B and I noticed something odd, though.  At all the bars, there would be a big piece of wood with nails in it.  What was up with that?  Eventually I asked the bartender, but neither she nor her co-bartender had enough English.  Luckily there were Aussies (and there were Aussies everywhere–we rarely encountered anyone white who wasn’t Aussie–which of course makes sense from a distance perspective) to explain it to us.

It’s a drinking game, of course.

You each get a nail and hammer it in just far enough that it stands on its own.  Then you each get a single hit to try and force it all the way down, but whoever gets it in further gets a drink from the loser.  Later googling also told me it’s one of the games “bar girls” play–they look all small and cute and then kick your ass at this game (and also four square in Phuket, commonly…which is a bit of a head scratcher, but whatever) and then you have to buy them an overpriced drink (which they pocket some money for from the bar).  For the record, neither B nor I even managed to hit the nail…coordination…we don’t have it.

Elanor had fallen asleep in the stroller, so we wandered for a good hour or so, eventually ending up in what felt like a more residential area.  Patong Beach was one of the beaches hit by the tsunami in December 2004.  (If you want to read a first person account of what it was like to be in Patong Beach during the tsunami, go here.)  Perhaps because of that, I was somewhat more aware of the constant tsunami evacuation route signs we saw.

In the resorts (and I visited a few in search of the swim diapers I forgot to bring with us), you couldn’t tell that there had been such devastation 5-6 years ago.  But once you were out on the street, the poverty was obvious.  The way the street stalls were built, the lack of dental care, even the way the power lines were built showed you in a far more visceral way than the strength of the dollar versus the baht, how the country was struggling (and not just because of the tsunami).

Unlike the racous and somewhat garish tourist area, the residential streets were quieter, dirtier, and sadder.  You took closer notice as the stray, mangy dogs sized you up as a possible source of food or perhaps as an opponent.  Paint peeled, clothes hung to dry over your head, and the smell became uncomfortable–putrid water and worse.  It was hard to believe we were just a block back from the neon crowds, the dvd hawkers, the unceasing roar of motorcyles flaunting any notion of lanes.  I think it was good to see this side of Phuket-it’s easy to stay by your pretty hotel pool with the swim up bar, to delight in the small joys of reading a book by a pool, or getting one of the best massages ever.  It’s easy to just become annoyed at those who constantly accost you on the beach and on the street trying to sell you something.  When you see what their lives are like (and let’s not kid ourselves, these are some of the luckier people), you understand just why they’re so desperate to find that stupid trinket that will reel in more business, more baht to feed their family.

However, it was also scary.  I quickly put away my camera (although my skin, my helper and my suv-esque stroller all still marked me as an obvious tourist), and tried to walk in a way that would get us back to the touristy parts as quickly as possible.  We were “lost” for maybe 15 minutes, but it was unnerving.  If I’d been alone, I don’t think I would have been as nervous, but knowing that I was responsible for B and E certainly made me more anxious to get back to the more readily defined spaces.  Plus, it smelled really bad.

Once back on the main road, it was an easy 15 minute walk back to the hotel (in that it was direct).  However, the sidewalks, hawkers, and a toddler who wanted out of the stroller did not make “easy.”

It was an interesting introduction to Patong…but only our first of 6 days.

What we’re doing today….

Ravi and I are doing a 6 hour adventure with Siam Safari (picked for their humane treatment and care of their animals, and the fact they’re the only organization doing Elephant Trekking to have certification from the Thailand Livestock Department as to the health and well being of the elephants).

Our 6 hour adventure will consist of….

Pick up from your hotel and transfer to Chalong. Travel by four wheel drive Land Rover into Chalong highlands.

Arrive at Siam Safari elephant camp on the top of a mountain. Meet Siam Safari’s elephants; learn about them and the mahouts who take care of them and also about Thai elephant conservation and how you can help. See how young elephants are trained, you can touch them and feed them bananas. Trek on elephant back in Chalong highlands, good views over Chalong bay and out to Pee Pee island can be seen along the way. This is Phuket’s best elephant trek and best cared for elephants. The only elephant camp in southern Thailand to have attained the Thai government standard award. Visit our local farmyard to see how buffalo plough the rice fields, learn how to harvest and de-husk rice and about the different varieties available. Try a ride on a wooden cart pulled by buffalo before sampling local coffee and experiencing the smells of our herb garden. Learn how Thai jungle curry is made, you can even try some if you dare. See how rubber trees are “tapped” to produce natural rubber latex. Learn how coconuts are processed to make coconut milk and oil. Join an exclusive afternoon cruises in Chalong Bay, aboard a classical wooden junk style boat. Cruise pass Lone island (Home of local fishermen), pass empty beaches and see good views of the islands around the bay. A free glass of wine or beer is included and Dinner. Sit back, relax and enjoy the view as the late afternoon sun goes down amongst the idyllic tropical islands. Early evening return to your hotel.

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