Elanor is 4

My darling Ellie,

Happy fourth birthday.  May you always embrace the world as fearlessly and with as big a heart as you do today.
Love

Mommy

PS-Stop calling me mother-it’s freaking me out.

500

This is my 500th post at Expat Bostonians.

I began the blog on March 8th, 2010; 2 years, 2 months and 9 or 10 days (depending on how you count the time difference) ago.  A blog seemed like the logical way to keep our friends back home apprised of what life here in the Lion City was like.  Before I moved here, the only things I knew (or thought I knew) about Singapore was that some American kid had gotten caned here when I was in high school, and that chewing gum was illegal here.

In honor of my 500th post, I thought I’d share some of my favorite posts in chronological order.

2010–Lots of factual posts (what does the money here look like), not a ton of introspection.  I think I was so busy taking in Singapore that I couldn’t really process it.

Our look see visit to Singapore — This is a favorite post because it’s my baseline.  It contains my first photos and impressions of Singapore.  This is a post I look back at to see how far I’ve come.

Awkward–My first post about hiring a helper.

4th of July, Singaporean Style–Our first big American holiday spent in Singapore, and a favorite memory to this day.  I’ve loved the American 4th of July event both years we’ve been here, and I’m looking forward to our third in a few months.

Palawan Beach–Our first visit there, and contains some of my favorite photos.

Thailand, Part 2–Describes one of the coolest things I’ve done in Southeast Asia-the Siam Safari in Phuket.  A 6 hour adventure that tried to balance eco-tourism with preserving culture, and the struggles that come with it.  I’m a nerd, so learning on vacation=YAY.  Also-BABY ELEPHANTS! Extremely long entry, but one of my all time favorites

Christmas out and about in Singapore–I was totally thrown by stores being open and seeing Christmas treated as just another state sanctioned holiday.

2011-I got to know more people and began to really participate in the blogging community here.  I started writing posts that tried to get to the why instead of the what.  WHY were things the way they were instead of a book report.

Happy (sort of ) New Years–I live tweeted the NYE special with Kirsten and this post shares some of the highlights. Sort of New Years because it was 2011 in Singapore but still 2010 in Boston.

Skin Whitening…it’s a “thing” here–One of the first posts discussing my discomfort with the way whiteness is idealized here.

Having a Maid…the bad and the ugly–Singapore practically expects you to have a maid, but few people talk about the negatives.  This post explored the negatives both from the culture clash perspective and the issues within Singapore itself (the racism and abuses).

What do I do when the power goes out and other questions I forgot to ask–just when you think you’ve figured out expat life, something happens to totally upend your sense of comfort.

Hong Kong-Goldfish Market and Street Markets–On our child-free vacation in Hong Kong, Ravi and I visited the Goldfish Market in Hong Kong and it was another really memorable vacation moment.

Bad Expat (Part 1-ur doin it rong)–In which I explain all the ways I suck at being an expat.

Seth Rogen talks about Singapore–and SG isn’t happy–this was the first time I felt like I could explain and understand both sides of a US/SG critique and conflict of humor.

Things you don’t see/hear in Singapore–After a trip home, I began to realize there are some things I never see or hear in Singapore

Maids, Cultural Expectations and the Importance of Modeling (expat to expat advice)–A post that really talks about the cultural issues (small and big) that come with having a maid.

Pink Dot 2011–I was so proud to be at Pink Dot (an celebration of all love, particularly LGBT love and the only pro-gay event in Singapore) last year, when Google stepped up as the first ever corporate sponsor.

A negative experience at a doctor’s office and maybe some news–It feels strange to put such an angry post on my “favorites/top” list.  However, I think it is well written and it clearly articulates an issue I’ve had repeatedly with older male doctors in Singapore-being condescended to/spoken to as if I were my 3 year old.  As an expat, you have to constantly negotiate cultural issues, and, in general, it is best to learn to bend and to be flexible.  However, it is also okay to have lines that you can not, under any circumstance, cross.  This experience was one of them.

Our second 4th of July in Singapore-Our second, and equally memorable 4th of July in Singapore

My tale of laptop woe grows–I take my laptop to a certified apple repair center, tragic hilarity ensues

Comparing Singaporean and American Pregnancy Guides–After having a baby in the US, I wanted to read a local pregnancy guide to figure out how the approach locally was different.

My first name is not Crystalann–I like the post more because of the really interesting conversation it inspired in the comments section about names and culture.

Validation-The post I wrote after my first fiction short story acceptance

Santa Cruz Boardwalk-A wonderful day with Ellie on vacation.  Ravi was sick, and I was pregnant, so it was one of our last big adventures just her and I before the baby arrived.  I also love the pictures.

Why I didn’t want to be in the US on 9/11-On the 10th anniversary of 9/11, I was in the US and I was reminded of many of the things I don’t like about being an American, and why we have such a bad reputation abroad.

Just WHAT is in those 8 suitcases Part 1 and Part 2 –A photo essay of the kind of nonsense we bring back to Singapore from home.

Prenatal care in the US vs Singapore–Shh, don’t tell anyone, but I might like Singaporean prenatal care better.

Rhiannon Arcadia-I got to announce and post a picture of my newly born 2nd child.  Of course it’s a favorite.

An American Halloween in Singapore–We go trick or treating!

Happy Birthday Elanor–her 3rd birthday post

Slutwalk Singapore 2011–I took the girls to slutwalk because I want to raise them to be strong independent feminists.

Wicked Green Carpet and Gala–I won tickets to the black tie gala premiere of Wicked in Singapore.  My friend Kirsten and I and our lack of social skills went…hilarity ensued.

Oh Christmas Tree—We had a great Christmas Tree, until the cats went on the offensive

Disconnect-Firing B was not a highlight of my blog, but it was one of the most significant events, and for that reason, I need to include it.

2012-I’m really proud that so far in 2012, I got nominated for a Singapore Blog Award, was named a top blog by InterNations and have started contributing professionally at White As Milk.

Irresistible-The book with my short story in it was published (the short story is under a pen name, but if you read the book, you’ll be able to figure it out, trust me)

That does not mean what you think it means–English vs English FAIL

Lessons learned from my negative maid experience–I take ownership of my mistakes in the whole B debacle

What I love about Singapore that has nothing to do with my children–I had to really think about this as all my reflexive answers have to do with my kids.

Where are you from–I share a story about Ravi and wonder aloud how my 3rd culture kids are going to react to their home culture…or if they’ll even consider it their home culture

Stuff I wish I hadn’t brought to Singapore–Things that I’ve found around the house that have me wondering just what I was thinking when I brought them to Singapore

Elanor and the ACA–why health care matters–Elanor’s story (warning–possible triggers as it does graphically describe what happened to Ellie at a week of age, including how close she came to death, and includes a photo from intensive care)

When I was six–What life was like for me in small town MA as a kid in the 80′s

My misconceptions about Expat Life–Boy did I have it wrong on some things.

Ways that living in Singapore have changed me—the shallow edition

Wild Life Sydney Zoo at Darling Harbour–the highlight of our trip to Australia

My bank is trying to Punk Me-another absurd/hilarious tale of customer service hell

Odds and Ends

I haven’t done one of these in a while, so I thought I’d do an odds and ends post to wrap up/update on some stuff and comment about other small things that don’t merit individual posts.

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Rhiannon’s Surgery

The wound has healed nicely and we get test results next week.  I’m feeling a lot better about this post-surgery recovery than her first surgery recovery (which involved an infection).

In the mean time, Rhiannon (who turns 7 months on Sunday) has been reveling in her new-found love of solid food.  Witness below (the food was a mix of banana, apple, blueberry and one other berry).

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The Car

We did decide to sign a one year lease on the car after test driving it for a few months.  It might technically be a hundred dollars a month more than I’d been paying with cabs (after parking and gas are figured into the cost), but the freedom is worth it.  Never stressing about how weather (rain) will affect my commute, shift change, or standing with two young children while the cab I texted for drives past me is worth it.

I will caution you that after a trial month or two, the idea of going back to cabs sounds pretty dreary.

There weren’t really any new terms added to the lease–the one difference being that the penalities for accidents if someone else were driving the car were spelled out in a way they weren’t when we were just trying it out.  However, I don’t lend out my car, so that’s not an issue.

And yes, I still occasionally turn on my wipers instead of my directional.

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When I was six posts

First Bookjunkie posted an article on White as Milk about her life in Primary one (first grade)

Then I wrote an article about my childhood

Then Katrjin did…her memories of expat third culture kid-dom here in Singapore (part 1 is here, part 2 is now up!)

Then Kirsten wrote about her life as a kid here in Singapore on SEA Youth’s website.

Please–let’s get some more!!!  ClaireLauraKelly?  Pleeeeeeeeease?  Anyone–write it, link it.  No matter how “normal” you think it was, I promise someone here will find it fascinating.

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If you’re into theater, and you want to indoctrinate the kids, you should know Annie is coming to MBS from July 10 through August 5.  More info and tickets here.  Yes, I will probably go (if I’m in town) but I think E just might be too young to sit through it, much to my sadness.  Thanks to Kelly who gave me the heads up.

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Ellie is still taking violin, and managed to add ballet to it.  It all began with my stupidly allowing her to take a trial class and ended up with The Nutcracker on repeat in my car.

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Remember how I had a story published in a book?  Well, if you like your books, electronic, Irresistible: Erotic Romance for Couples is now available on Kindle and Nook.  Given the recent popularity of 50 Shades of Grey, and erotica…I thought it was worth mentioning.

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We re-signed our lease for a year.  In the end, looking for a new apartment wasn’t the right choice this year.  Ravi’s work is above a stop on the (not yet open) downtown line–it makes more sense to stay put until that stop opens and then to figure out where would be a better location.  For now, walking distance to Great World City and about midway between E’s school and R’s work is the right decision.  Plus, moving sucks.

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The cats are fine.  Gandalf weighs more than my almost 7 month old.  Kero has finally stopped (fingers crossed) trying to climb the curtains.  Both have mostly forgiven us for going on vacation (they had a pet sitter, but we were on their list for a few hours or so).

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Our next trip to the US will likely be late summer.  Kate, one of my dearest friends is getting married, and I will absolutely be there.  And then we’ll stick around for a few weeks on either end.  The rest of our travel plans for the year will be dictated by one of Ravi’s cousin’s weddings late this year, and then how many vacation days/how many miles we need to fly to keep our frequent flier status for next year.

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If you want to see all of our Australia pictures, I’ve put an album on the Expat Bostonians facebook page (it includes far more than what I’ve shared here).  Go, “like,” and enjoy.

Like this one!

Visiting Sydney with kids under 4

I probably have a few more posts about Sydney kicking around, but I thought I’d do a general post about visiting Sydney with little kids, as it’s an easy vacation destination from Singapore.

We flew Singapore Airlines both ways, and I have nothing but good things to say about them.  There were little gifts for the kids (a stuffed shrek head for Rhi, a coloring set for Ellie), pre-school tv on demand (Sesame Street, Handy Manny, My Little Pony, Little Einsteins, etc) along with kid-sized headphones, and nothing but smiles and kind words for my girls (even when Elanor pushed the call button several times when she was sitting with my in-laws). While they’re more expensive then other options, if you can, I would spring for the airfare (in fact, I’ve insisted that I’m springing for Singapore Airlines when I fly solo with the girls to the US this summer)

We stayed at the Shangri-La hotel in The Rocks section of Sydney.  While the rooms were great, the views spectacular, and the room service delicious (a shocker for this hotel veteran-room service is usually awful), it is located at the top of a hill so steep that stairs are cut into it.  Which led me to my first major disillusionment about Sydney–Parts of Sydney resemble San Francisco.  I had not expected it to be so difficult to push a stroller around.

If we returned, I’m not so sure that we would stay there again as long as we were pushing a stroller up the mountain hill…in the street, which was not so fun OR we were taking long circuitous paths back to avoid stairs/hills taller than Mount Doom.  If you travel to Sydney, pick your hotel thoughtfully.

Must see places included the Aquarium and the Wild Life Zoo, both in Darling Harbour (see, I spelled it right this time, K!).  Also worth a stop is the playground behind the IMAX theater in Darling Harbour, which for the record was what Elanor said was her favorite part of the entire trip.

We went to Taronga Zoo, but it looks like it hasn’t been refreshed since my husband saw it at age 8 in 1985.  There is very little to recommend Taronga–it doesn’t have anything you can’t find at Wild Life, the Aquarium or our own Singapore Zoo (and there are some giant spiders spinning webs in the trees over the walkways, if that happens to freak you out as much as it does me).  The ride on the ferry to and from the zoo was the highlight for me.

I would also highly recommend the Australian Museum.  I left Ellie behind, thinking she’d either be too hyper or too bored by a museum.  Little did I know that they’ve designed kiosks and connections throughout the exhibits to specifically engage kids under 5.  I was pretty disappointed I didn’t take her by the end.  (For adults/older kids, there’s a really great exhibit on the social activism and justice issues surrounding the way the aboriginal peoples were treated by the Europeans that really impressed me as well).

While traveling with kids is by no means painless, it is a very different look at a city than you’d have as a child-less (or partner-less) adult.  For example, while my attention was captured by things like architectural details on older buildings, Ellie’s sharp eye saw this sign.  She was thrilled, and demanded to have her picture taken by a giant “3″ because she’s three.  She didn’t “get” the jokes on the bus tour, but she pointed out some beautiful flowers hanging from a basket.  She didn’t appreciate the high quality beef at the restaurants, but had a great time throwing McDonald’s french fries to the seagulls.

Perhaps the most frustrating thing (apart from the sidewalk stairs) were the cab drivers.  It is worth noting that Australia (or at least Sydney) has a car seat law for kids under 1.  Which is great.  Except that most cab drivers just refuse the fare of a family with a baby rather than deal with you.  I happen to have a stroller set up where my car seat attaches to a stroller frame, and I had a multitude of cab drivers tell me that my car seat (a) wasn’t a car seat (b) wasn’t safe–it has the highest safety rating in the US at the time of purchase (c) wouldn’t fit in their car or just flat out refused my fare because of the baby even after I showed them that it was a car seat.  They also refused fares that they felt were too short.  After three days of fighting with cab drivers, I actively began to try to plan my day to not need them (or to deal with them as infrequently as possible).  They are truly some of the most unpleasant drivers I’ve dealt with…and I lived in New York City at one time.

Sydney wasn’t what I expected (there was a distinct lack of kangaroos hopping about, for one–WTF TV, have you taught me nothing true?) but it was a fun city to have a laid back family vacation.  I think it’s probably an easier trip if all your kids can walk (call it three+?) or if you baby wear because of all the stairs, but definitely worth visiting while your kids are young.

Sunrise to Sunset–Sydney Opera House

Taken from a variety of locations over several days.  This is the first time I’ve organized a study of a single object.  I hope you like it!

Wild Life Sydney Zoo at Darling Harbour

Is there anything more clichèd than going to Australia,  buying a boomerang and wanting to see a Koala?  Probably not, but it’s a cliché for a reason, and we wanted to see Koalas, damn it!  So off to Wild Life Sydney Zoo at Darling Harbour we went.

I have to admit I was a bit skeptical.  Wild Life Sydney Zoo is located next door to the Aquarium, and I worried that it might not be large enough to be a really humane or ethical way to see the animals.  However, as we walked up the ramps , and I realized that it seems to take up the entire top floor over Madam Tussaud’s and possibly over part of the Aquarium as well, that it was much larger than I had expected.  The enclosures were all reasonably sized, the animals looked healthy and well fed, and the zoologists (or whatever the appropriate title would be) were all very knowledgeable and obviously cared for their charges.

The first room we went through had butterflies, ducks, and various frogs.  Cute, but not the main attraction.  But the second room had several koalas!  There were four koalas that we saw in that area.

Next we saw some the wallabies.  Elanor thought they were kangaroos, and nothing we said convinced her otherwise.  One of the highlights of the day for me was watching her trying to get the wallaby to hop along with her (see the video above).  If you can’t quite make it out, she’s saying “C’mon, kangaroo…hop, hop, hop!”

Icouldn’t resist

We next saw the cassowary, which is apparently a dangerous bird, but all I could think of was “Kevin” from the movie “UP”.

Ellie was thoroughly unimpressed by the real kangaroos as they were just laying about in the exhibit.  I’m using this picture of her with a statue because my only photo of the actual kangaroos turned out to be a bit…well…inappropriate for this audience (hint, it turns out that it’s obvious that it is a male Roo).

We walked through the “outback” enclosure, where the roos were sharing space with two baby emus who were running about.  One of the emus took an interest in a toddler’s shoes (they were in a stroller), which was amusing (because it wasn’t my kid).

Next on the tour was a look at the crocodile from above.  You actually get three chances to see him–from above next to the kangaroos, at level after them, and then looking up at him from the water on the way out the door.

The nocturnal area had some seriously super cute animals.  The video above is of the Bilby.  I couldn’t manage a good clear shot, so I elected for video instead.

From there we headed up to the Koala talk.  Most of the rooms at Wildlife are connected via ramp, with this exception, as the talks happen on the roof.  However, there is a handy elevator (not always a given here, I’ve learned).

We enjoyed learning more about the adorable marsupials, although we had our illusions shattered when we learned how small their brains are.  After, we elected to get our photos taken with the Koalas. We were even able to pet them–their fur feels a lot like sheep’s wool.

I would honestly have a hard time picking which was more fun-the Aquarium or Wild Life.

Ellie was a bit garbled, but I think she liked Wild Life better because she got to pet a koala.  Ravi also picked Wild Life because of the Koalas.

Rhiannon obviously liked the Aquarium better, but that had a lot more to do with the exhibits where fish/sharks/whatever were swimming above her, and her view is fairly limited from the car seat/stroller set up.

If you have time, I’d suggest you go to both.  You get a discount for buying tickets to multiple places (we got the Aquarium, Wild Life, and the Sydney Tower for 60 each–the Aquarium was 35 on its own, to give you a sense of the discount, and kids under 4 are free so we didn’t have to pay for either of the girls) and the tickets are good for up to 30 days.

You can find out more about Wild Life Sydney Zoo here.

Wordless Wednesday-Sydney

A real, honest to G-d Apple Store.  I could weep with joy

Rhi is suspicious of this whole ‘hotel crib” thing–she ended up in our bed along with Ellie

The Mascot of Nick’s Bar and Grill in Darling Harbor

Ellie reads her “treasure map”

Devil’s Delight Pancakes at Pancakes on the Rocks (Chocolate pancakes, ice cream, strawberries and chocolate sauce)

Ellie gets a swing from her Dadi (grandma) and Daddy

Rice Krispies are called Rice Bubbles here, which I think is AWESOME

Adventures in Sydney–Sydney Aquarium

Traveling with kids is very different from traveling as a single or married adult.  Which is how our Australian adventure began today with McDonald’s, and then we spent the majority of the day at the Sydney Aquarium.

By the ticket office, the first of many awesome Lego statues in the aquarium

The Sydney Aquarium has a reputation of being an amazing aquarium, and it is well deserved.  It is easily one of the best aquariums I’ve been in, if not the best.  The amazing thing is that it’s true even as the aquarium is expanding/renovating and will unveil new displays in September 2012.

There is a platypus by the entry, but we did not see the shy little creature.  Hopefully we’ll catch a peek at one of the 8 million Australian animal themed things we’ll do in the next week.

There are many halls, but the two biggest draws are the Great Barrier Reef exhibit and the shark exhibit.

There are many different windows into the GBR exhibit, but the best has to be the part where you can you walk over, through and under the exhibit at the same time.  Ellie and Rhi were both taken by the fish, rays, and sharks surrounding them.

They also have a glass bottom boat that floats along the top of the GBR tank.  We had originally planned to take both girls, but Rhiannon protested the life jacket with a full banshee wail.  THIS WAS NOT TO BE TOLERATED.  So she and Ravi stayed below and enjoyed being encircled by fish, as Ellie and I floated above them.  Sorry, the photo didn’t quite work the way I’d hoped.

We also got to see some baby sharks in the nursery, which is above the GBR tank.  Sharks may be scary as hell when they’re full sized, but just like every other baby, they are cute as hell when little.

As a child well versed in Disney, Ellie immediately made the Finding Nemo connection, and we talked about the Dory Fish and the Nemo Fish.  Of course, to her, all fish are Nemo or Dory, just as all lions are Simba or Nala.

There was another large window into the exhibit where I meant to take pictures, but I got distracted by this Lego Display.  Both the mural and the whale are Lego.  I was impressed by the Moby Dick whale, but what really blew me away was the mural behind it.  I don’t have the patience for sets of Legos made for six year olds…can you imagine the kind of hard work and vision it takes to create something like this?

I actually had to go up close to the mural and touch it because I was so amazed by it.  According to the sign, there are over 300,000 Legos in this display.

Next we wandered toward the shark display.  On the way, we passed through a display where a sting ray became enchanted by Elanor (following her the length of the tank) and vice versa.

Along the way, we met this fellow-a Japanese Spider Crab.  According to the Wikipedia Article, their leg span can get as large as 12 feet.  These guys were perhaps not THAT big, but they were frighteningly large.

Above the shark tank was Elanor’s favorite Lego statue by far–”Ariel!!!” she greeted it. We spent a great deal of time examining “Ariel” in detail, and sitting on the rock next to her.

Ellie was inspired and we got her to sing “Part of your World” from The Little Mermaid.

I loved the murals on the way down to the shark tank, that told the legend of the mermaids, and how most mermaids were likely manatees (among other creatures).  Click on them individually.  I really loved how much the aquarium seemed to believe in and incorporate art into their displays.

The shark tanks were walk through (although it was only on either side and above you, as opposed to all of those plus underneath you as in the GBR tank.  Both girls were quite impressed.

I have to give the Sydney Aquarium a metaphorical 4 stars…it was engaging for the girls and for us, had a wide variety of exhibits, and was stroller friendly.  Absolutely worth the cost of admission.  Go here for more information about the aquarium.

Tempting Fate

Once upon a time, I tempted fate by writing a post discussing how to fly with babies under a year of age, something I have done many many times.  I then further tempted fate by derisively describing our flight from Singapore to Australia as “only 7 hours long.”  I then REALLY pushed my luck by saying that sitting by the bassinet seat while Ravi, the grandparents and Ellie were several rows back as “practically a vacation–I’ll watch movies and read while the baby sleeps,” because it was a red eye flight.

Anyone want to take a guess how the flight went?

Hell doesn’t begin to describe our flight.  However, I do have a word that describes it–teething.

Rhiannon spent the vast majority of the flight nursing or crying.  I got maybe 30 minutes of tv watching done, read half a people magazine, and mostly tried not to cry myself.  Luckily here were other crying babies–and I felt deeply grateful when they cried, so that we weren’t the only ones.  I did not sleep. At all.

Lesson #1–Bring your Tylenol/Panadol when you know that your baby has been showing signs of teething.

Lesson #2–NEVER be stupid enough to write an article on the internet that claims you know how to fly with babies–the universe will make you pay for that kind of hubris.

Lesson #3–Counting the days until you can have a stiff drink again because you’re still nursing is probably not the best use of time spent while you’re nursing.  Nor does it make a baby stop crying.  It may make you cry, however, when you contemplate just how long six months is.

Lesson #4–Rhiannon hates airline bassinets, and red eye flights are a terrible idea with her.

Lesson #5–Most importantly–THIS TOO, SHALL PASS

The flight sucked.  It was absolutely the worst flight I have ever had with a child of mine (which is saying something as I have over 30 flights –possibly over 50 if you count individual legs). Which is a lesson in and of itself–sometimes you have a bad flight.  Seven hours, which seemed like an absurdly short flight when compared with our normal 36 hour journey from Singapore to Boston, can last a lot longer than you think it does.  However, there’s nothing you can really do about a bad flight beyond enduring it. (And apologizing to everyone around me–luckily lots of moms who said variants on “been there, done that, don’t worry about it–I used headphones.)

The thing about bad flights is that, eventually, they end.

We arrived safely in Australia, and while it was a rough journey here, I think we can all agree that the view from our hotel room was worth it…

I’m really proud of this shot…I did an extended exposure (hence the streaks of light on the highway) and I think if this actually does look as good as I think it might, it may end up on the wall in our home.

 

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