on a separate note… those other ‘bloggers’ mentioned are crazy.. CRAZY.. it’s employers like that that gives us Singaporeans a bad name!!

I don’t approve – but feel unable to protest as without this support, I wouldn’t have been able to go back to work. Most Asians were brought up this way and it didn’t do them lasting harm.

Question though – how do you deal with cleanup operations especially with two to supervise? I find that with just one, if I’m busy cleaning up her mess, she can very quickly create a new mess for me to tackle next…

First things first–have you been to Rein’s NY Style deli on 84 just north of Hartford? I haven’t been to New England since last August and I’ve found myself thinking of them quite a bit recently. The word “Connecticut” was enough to get me salivating

I think you make excellent points-I guess it’s easiest for me to talk about experiences and such in terms of “American-ness” and “Singaporean-ness” as shorthand for what issues I’m allowed to talk about and where I’m seen to have the experience to have an informed opinion.

Do you think that you benefit from the Asian “model minority” stereotype when it comes to acceptance? I was just noting to someone that most of the American anti-immigrant vitriol is aimed at Latinos. Europeans and Asians are automatically assumed to be highly educated in my experience whether or not that is true. Latinos are often perceived as being less educated and thus more likely to end up needing public assistance (again, whether that is true or not). When you see anti-immigrant rhetoric, it is very clearly aimed at Latinos (such as the whole build along the mexican border nonsense). When Mitt Romney ran for president, he argued that his FIL was an immigrant–except that the immigrant experience of a white Welshman is going to be radically different from that of a recent immigrant from the Domincan Republic. Another way of putting it is that with regards to Arizona’s law where they can ask anyone they suspect of being illegal for their papers–at the time it was passed, Selena Gomez (pop star) was dating Justin Beiber (pop star)-and the valid question was who would get asked for their papers under this law-American Gomez or Canadian Beiber? (Gomez)

I think that what is true with regards to both the US and Singapore is that there is a lot of misinformation out there (without which it’s easy to “other”), and legitimate frustration being aimed. I also think that there is a very vocal minority rather than the majority having anti-foreigner sentiments.

My kids are definitely culturally Singaporean and Ellie speaks Singlish (just as yours speak American). The US is where grandparents live and where we go on vacation. But when we’re in the US, Ellie always wants to know when we’re going “home” (meaning Singapore). I think the move back to the US would be hardest on her as the oldest child, having lived here since she was 17 months-she doesn’t remember living in the US at all.

I think I’m always going to have a connection to Singapore-I have friends here (some of whom I’ll likely lose contact with and others who I know I won’t) and my youngest was born here. I think what may be more interesting is seeing what sort of connection the girls feel to Singapore as they age, and if spending their youth abroad makes them more likely to move abroad or not.

I hope that my girls will grow to be as comfortable traversing the world as you are–I like the idea of being like a snail-that your home is where you are.

I also definitely understand what you mean when you talk about certain immigrants getting critiqued, and how skin color can be either a marker or camouflage. In the US, a white immigrant is seen as delightful and easily assimilated. A non-white tends to get treated in relation to how that minority group is perceived (Asian kids are expected to be smart and so forth). A latino is likely to get the short end of the stick, as most the virulent anti-immigrant rhetoric is aimed at Latinos.

I hear a lot of anti-foreigner rhetoric here in SG-progressively moreso over the past three years (even sometimes amongst those I call friends) and when I bring up that I’m a foreigner, I always hear “no, not you–I mean the X, with X most frequently meaning PRCs. A PRC (meaning a person from the People’s Republic of China) is a commonly targeted group-for taking up spots in university/taking jobs. FDWs and laborers get a lot of racist crap thrown their way (among the worst I’ve seen is that FDW’s should have to use stairs instead of the elevator, and that they shouldn’t be allowed in the pool). And so forth.

I always have more to learn, and as I try to make sense of things, I’ll definitely keep writing.

Being an expat child myself I have been dragged all over the world, and therefore I do not feel at home all that much in my own country (the Netherlands) I like to compare myself to a snail, my home is where I am. If people think that you do not truly belong anywhere unless you have lived there for years/ decades/ generations, where does that leave me? Stateless? I have never lived anywhere longer than 6 years.

I must admit I felt at home really quickly in Singapore, because it is such a multicultural society, and that suits me. It is also an expat (and I mean not just the rich western kind) town, and if anything, being an expat is what defines me most.

Yet, like you, I have sometimes felt that there are Singaporeans which consider this city theirs rather than mine, just because they have been here longer. Personally I feel that anyone who lives in a place has a right to an opinion. That does not mean that you should not be respectful, or barge in like someone who knows it all better, especially when different cultures are concerned… when I lived in the UK I always felt that I was not really considered a foreigner. Is that just because of my white skin colour, british accent and being from a small and un-intimidating country just across the channel? I have had people rave to me there about Eastern Europeans, and when I commented I was one of ‘those foreigners’ they objected to, they did not seem to agree, I seemed to be ‘allowed’. I always felt very welcome, but realised at the same time not everyone was. Would a relatively new Chinese immigrant be seen different from us westerners here in Singapore. Just because their culture and appearance is more similar? No idea…

Singapore, in that sense, is a complex place. Superficially it is like a paradise, but as we all know there are more layers. And let’s not get started about the US, haha… this is where the respect comes in, I have not lived there and prefer to be a bit careful with my opinions. Having said that, one of the reasons I have no desire to go home right now it the attitude to immigrants in Europe, which is as bad as anywhere… scary, really..

Keep on writing and making people think, thanks!