A new direction

I had been feeling really worried about what felt like the inevitable hiring of a live in helper after everything.

However, thanks to twitter friends, we already have options for childcare and housecleaning that do not involve a live in helper, and I am feeling optimistic.

Yesterday was the first day I had both girls all day on my own.  I was really scared that I would find out that I was not up to the task of parenting both my pre-schooler and my baby.  It was not the easiest day I’ve ever had, and as I’m also trying to clean and pack, I will confess that Ellie watched a lot more tv than I consider appropriate….BUT I did it.

I’m going to have to learn to be more disciplined about writing time, and I won’t have the luxury of doing things on the fly, but I no longer worry about my ability to parent my children.  With a small bit of support we will still be able to have date night, Ellie will still be able to do violin lessons with Mommy, and I will not have to do all those dishes by hand (including the joy of heating the water) every single day.

We’re going to be okay.

Knowing that makes me feel like we will be able to move on.


People have asked how Elanor is.  She was nonplussed at the news.  Elanor has shown no interest in where B has gone for the most part, which is a bit concerning given how much time she spent with B and how close they seemed to be.   We are talking to our pediatricians (here and in the US) to ask about what they would suggest given everything (including some details I am not comfortable sharing here).  She is her normal, sunny self.


I want to thank everyone for your support during this difficult time.  Through comments here on the blog, twitter, my personal and the blog’s facebook pages, phone calls and texts you have reached out to our family.  I often say that we are on our own here in Singapore (compared to home where we have friends and family)…and I learned just how wrong that statement is.  I may not have taken every friend up on the offer of help, but just knowing I could reach out to you is helping me begin the healing process.

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5 Responses to A new direction

  1. bookjunkie says:

    am thinking about all of you…..and hoping you’ll all be ok and heal from this awful experience. Especially your lil angel….breaks my heart (makes me so distressed too especially when a innocent defenseless child in involved)… & I can imagine how emotionally and mentally taxed you both must be.

    I want you all to be safe and well. You have always been so kind and I only want good things for you and your wonderful family. It’s your kindness that was taken advantage of and that’s just so sad.

    So glad you have the option of non live in help for now.

    • Crystal says:

      Being home and just getting away from all of it has been good. I’m preparing, and even looking forward to going home, doing a deep clean/purge of junk we don’t need and having a fresh start.

  2. KJ says:

    We were in KL and Malacca this past weekend so totally missed the turmoil happening in your life. Wow. Wow. I have see-sawed on the whole live-in helper issue with the crux of my concerns was having a stranger live in the house.

    Let me know if there’s anything I can do. I know my kids would love to cat-sit!

    We lease our car, mainly because I am lazy and couldn’t be bothered thinking about insurance and servicing and all that jazz. It’s a small car (Hyundai Verna) but it suits us fine as we are both on the shorter side and it’s not like we can drive for HOURS in Singapore, is it? IF you need the name of our people, drop me a line.

    • Crystal says:

      Thanks so much for the offer. I’d love to let your family cat sit next time.

      I’d really like to talk to you more about the car thing and get the contact info.

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